


You're Gonna Go Far, Kid (DISCONTINUED, READ LAST CHAPTER)

by 8ad_Wolf, terminallyCapricious (murderousCohort)



Series: you're going to go far, kid (a list of drabbles/stories, including the original work) [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Cliche angst, Cliche fluff, David Elizabeth Strider, Eventual Davekat, Fluff, Homestuck - Freeform, How Do I Tag, Humanstuck, I don't even know anymore, Karkat Marie Vantass, M/M, Mentions of Gamzee Makara - Freeform, Mentions of Kankri Vantas - Freeform, Mentions of Rose Lalonde - Freeform, Multiple chapters, Nepeta Leijon - Freeform, Read, Recommended, TW: Swearing, Terezi Pyrope - Freeform, What do tag, awesome stuff, dave and karkat hate each other at first (cliche yeah i know -_-), davekat - Freeform, long ish, more will be added as they appear - Freeform, my moirail is BadWolf check out their works, vantas, yay thank you to my moirail for helping meeee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-03-04 05:29:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 19,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2954024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/8ad_Wolf/pseuds/8ad_Wolf, https://archiveofourown.org/users/murderousCohort/pseuds/terminallyCapricious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat lives alone. He's no stranger to loneliness.<br/>Dave's best friend is acting weird. (er than normal.)<br/>John's cousin, twelve thousand times removed moves in. (or some big number like that.) </p><p> </p><p>(Originally 'Because Why Not')<br/>(Rating is because swearing.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Confusion

Until you got the note, you were alone.

You mother died when you were younger- four or so years old- and you never knew your father. Your older brother died almost a year ago, and now you live alone. You have friends, of course, just not as many as you'd like. In fact, you were just getting back from hanging out with a few of them when you found the note.

The front door is unlocked when you reach it. You momentarily freak out, then figure your best friend, Gamzee, has just gone in to get some of that soda he's obsessed with. After all, he does have a key. You roll your eyes and walk in.

Your spotless apartment greets you. Everything is where it's supposed to be: the couch and chair in the improvised living room, a table and a few chairs in the "dining room" to your left, your bedroom- clean as the rest of the "house"- with the bed, desk, and dresser squeezed in, barely fitting. You kick off your shoes and walk into the kitchen. As per usual, your dishes are all put away- none in the sink- and there's a letter on the counter. You sigh and walk over to the fridge, opening the door to look for a snack.

Wait. Letter on the counter?

You turn and look at it suspiciously. You carefully shut the fridge door and slowly walk over to the note, picking it up.

karkat vantas, it says on the front in messy blue pen. You wrinkle your nose and open the envelope.

 

**um, hi (It says)**

**so, i'm not sure how well you know me- if at all- but i'm john egbert. according to my dad, we're.. like... cousins twelve times removed or something. anyway, we heard about kankri, and how you're only fifteen and living alone, and my dad said to write to you and ask if you wanted to stay with us (since we're.. related. you know.) i would've emailed you, but... hm. now that i think about it, i should've just done that. oh well. anyway, um, just email me back with the answer ASAP. it's written on the back of this letter. (my email, not ASAP)**

**anyway, thanks.**

**john egbert**

 

You finish reading and set the letter on the counter, a thousand thoughts going through your head.

Kankri... God, you try not to think about him. But the letter stirs up old memories of him, both good and bad.

You sigh and run your hands through your tangled dark hair, remembering one of your earliest memories of him. One of the days he wasn't being annoying. You only remember littler flashes of the day, just little bits. You had just built a fort in this very apartment, between the desk and the "dining room" table. You and Kankri were sitting under the table, him drawing you some cat ears and you waiting eagerly. When he had finished, he cut them out, taped them to one of your mom's headbands, and placed them on your head. You remember laughing your head off at your mom's reaction.

Now, you feel something wet fall down your face.

No. No, you're not going to cry. You... you're going to email this Egbert dude. Get the details. You stand up and walk to your desk, grabbing your laptop when you get there, then walk over to your couch. You curl up in the corner seat and wait for the laptop to turn on.

After it wakes up, you decide to check your IM before you send the email.

When it loads, you see you have several messages from your friends. Kanaya has sent some pictures in a group chat of her new shoes. In a private chat, Sollux has reminded you not to update something on the school laptops, as the computer club has already had to replace a quarter of the students' computers. In a different group chat, your friends Nepeta, Terezi, and Tavros are discussing 'LARP in the Park' details. You send a quick message to all of your friends:

**HEY GUYS. SO, I GOT THIS WEIRD LETTER FROM SOME DISTANT COUSIN, OR SOMETHING. DO YOU THINK WE COULD DO A QUICK VIDEO CHAT?**

Stupid caps lock key. It's been broken for almost a month now and you still haven't gotten around to fixing it.

Vriska replies instantly.  
**Can't, sorry. I'm at drama clu8 right now. Good luck though ::::)**

You sigh. Okay, you guess.

Terezi replies next:  
**SUR3. WH3N?**

You reply: **NOT SURE. I'LL LET YOU KNOW.** You think for a minute, then type, **ACTUALLY, TEREZI, I CAN GET ON RIGHT NOW. EVERYONE ELSE, JOIN IF YOU CAN. THIS IS IMPORTANT.**

* * *

It takes a moment for the camera to work, on both yours and Terezi's end. Hers loads before yours does, so you hear her say, "Karkat? Where are you? I don't see you."

"Terezi, regardless of weather or not your camera is working, you still wouldn't be able to see me," you remind her. 

"Hey," she says. "it's not my fault I'm blind."

"I didn't say it was," you grumble. You fiddle with the settings until your face appears in the corner of the screen. "Okay, there."

Terezi's face appears a second later: her reddish hair; pale blue eyes, milky from her blindness; her guide dog is next to her. She looks like she's in her room. At least, that's what you gather from the background. 

"So," she says. "Tell me about this letter." 

You blink. "Hang on, I left it in the kitchen," you mumble. 

"Go get it!" she screeches. 

You swear and almost drop the computer. "Shut up!" you hiss. 

"Why?"

You groan and set the laptop on the couch ext to you. You stand up and walk over to the kichen. "Because. I have a headache already."

"God, sorry," you hear her say. 

"No you're not." You snatch the letter off the counter and walk back over to the couch. You throw yourself down in the same spot, pull the laptop back onto your lap, and open the letter. 

"Okay. Ready?" you ask. 

"Yeah. Read." She crosses her arms in front of her chest. 

You read the letter as best you can, as the handwriting is messy, as mentioned before. Terezi's quiet for a minute after you finish. Then she scratches her forehead. "What?" you ask. "What's that look?"

"What look?" she says, bringing her hand down. 

"That... look. You're glaring at the screen and your head is tilted."

"Oh."

More silence.

"So..." she says. "What're you gonna do?"

Here goes nothing. "I... I'm kind of thinking I want to."

"WHAT??" Her voice is so high and loud, her dog bows her head and whines. "Sorry, dog. What do you mean, Karkat? You're actually going?"

She's making you feel guilty about the whole thing. "Yes."

"Why?" Terezi holds her hand out. "Do you even know where they live?"

"Um." You hadn't even thought about that.  "I- there was no return address, but-"

"What if it's someone you don't even know? Just some random stranger who has your address for some reason?"

"Terezi, let me finish-"

"I'm serious, Kar."

"So am I!" 

"No. You've got to be joking. There's  _no way_  you're actually going!"

"Except I'm not! " This shuts her up. You take a deep breath. "Terezi, I'm not kidding. John and I were close when we were younger. Now he and his sister and his dad are offering me something I would be stupid to pass up on. John put his email on the back of the letter." You show his email too her, not caring that she won't be able to see it.

Terezi bows her head. "Alright. You're right."

"I am," you say disbelievingly. 

"Yeah."

"So," you say after a pause. "Should I tell him I'm interested?"

"Yeah." Her voice is so quiet you almost can't hear her. "I mean, if this is what you want-" She raises her voice a little. "-then who am I to stop you?"

"Alright. I'll send it. I'm gonna keep the video chat open, alright?"

"Sure," she mutters.

"Hey, Terezi?" She looks up at you. "This isn't going to get in the way of our friendship. I promise." God, you're horrible at making people feel better.

It seems to work, though, because she smiles a little. "I know. I just..." She sighs, and manages a normal-Terezi-grin. "So, are you gonna send him that email, or what?"

"Yep." You minamize the chat and open up your email. 

You have a few emails, one from Gamzee and the rest from school. "Ooooh-kay..." you say under your breath. You click  _NEW MESSAGE_  and type in John's email address. In the subject line, you hesitate. "Hey, what should I put for the subject?"

"Put... I dunno. Your name?" Terezi suggests.

"Tacky. How about... 'I got your letter'?"

"That works."  You type  **I GOT YOUR LETTER**  in the subject line. 

 **HEY.**  you type. **THIS IS KARKAT VANTAS. I GOT YOUR LETTER IN THE MAIL TODAY, AND I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD HAVE SOME MORE DETAILS ABOUT THIS WHOLE "COMING TO LIVE WITH YOU GUYS" THING. I'M CONSIDERING YOUR OFFER, BUT I CAN'T DECIDE UNTIL I HAVE MORE DETAILS.**

**THANKS, KARKAT**

"Okay, how about this," you say. You read her the email. 

"I think that sounds good," she replies. "How long do you think it'll take him to reply?"

You scan the email one last time for typos and reply, "I don't know. A while?" Once you're satified, you hit send. "There. Sent."

"Cool," Terezi says. But you can tell she doesn't really mean it.

"What?" you ask. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know," she says. "Tired, I guess." 

You look at the clock in the corner of the screen. "It's only ten?"

"Wow, is that all?" She awns. "Oh, well."

"Hey, he replied!" you say, sounding more excited than you mean to. 

"What? Read it!" she yells.

You open the reply, and start to read aloud. 

**hi! thanks for replying! okay, so i asked my dad, and he said we would be able to pay for a... actually, just accept my chat request on IM, and i'll tell you there.**

**john**

"Well, accept it!" Terezi says. 

"I will..." You switch back to IM and see a friend request thing on the side by your contacts. "John Egbert," it says. You click  _accept_  and start typing. 

**HEY, JOHN, IS THIS YOU?**

He replies instantly.  **yep! is this karkat?**

**YEAH**

**okay. here's what my dad said.**

"Hey, I have to go," Terezi says. "Latula's home. We have to eat."

"It's almost ten! Why are you eating just now?" you ask.

She sighs. "Our mom doesn't like to eat without her. Anyway, yeah. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay. Bye," you say. You close the chat and look back to see what John said.

**he said that he could help pay for a bus or something to our house (in washington. we haven't moved.)**

**you live where, again?**

**hello, you still there**

**YES, SORRY. I WAS TALKING TO SOMEBODY ELSE.**

**oh, okay, haha.**

**where do you live again?**

**IF YOU COULD SEND ME THAT LETTER, YOU *MUST* KNOW WHERE I LIVE**

**BECAUSE SERIOUSLY.**

**okay, yeah. sorry. slipped my mind.**

**MMHMMM.**

Seriously, how stupid is this guy?

**yeah. um, arizona, right?**

**YES....**

**okay. i'll work something out with my dad, then message you tomorrow, okay?**

**SURE. SOUNDS GREAT.**

**cool. talk to you then, i guess.**

You log off, walk over to the desk, and plug in your laptop. You'll figure this out tomorrow. 


	2. Irritations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave finds out that Karkat may or may not move in with Dave's best bro, which pisses Dave off slightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bc I like you, I'll give you more.

"Dude," you say as you walk inside. "I don't think I've ever seen your house this clean."

You've always known John's family to be messy. Well, not messy, exactly, but... Their house has always had a nice, lived-in look. So when you walk inside and see his house pretty much spotless, it takes you a  _little_ bit by surprise.

"Yeah," John says. You look over at him. His arms are crossed over his chest, and he looks pleased with himself. "Jade and my dad and I worked on it all day yesterday."

"Not Jake?" you ask.

"Nah. He was at a friend's." The air becomes tense. You know Jake has been drifting away from the family, more so than Jade or even John had when they were his age.

"Um," you say. You and John have been friends for a while now, but things become awkward nonetheless. "So, what's the occasion? I know Thanksgiving isn't for another two months. Did someone die, and you're having the funeral here?"

"No," he laughs. "You remember my cousin Karkat?"

Um. "The kid who smashed my teeth out with a toy train when I was three?"

"No. I don't even know who that was."

"The guy who was in our first grade class? The one who decided to cut my hair with safety scissors during recess?"

"No, that was Equius. Karkat's the one who-"

"Oh!" You snap your fingers. "I got it. He was the one who shoved sand in my mouth at your birthday party in Kindergarten, wasn't he."

John sighs and mutters something along the lines of "why do I even bother" and starts into the living room. He throws himself over the whole couch, so in retaliation you sit on his feet. "No, Karkat's the short one who always wore oversized sweatshirts, remember?"

"Oh," you say. "Him. His brother's an ass."

"Well, that's why I started talking about him-"

"Because you know I hate your cousin's older brother? Hmm, I guess Karkat's brother would also be your cousin, wouldn't he-"

"Dave, focus." He snaps his fingers in front of your face.

"Woah yeah, sorry," you say. "Anyway, what about Karkit?"

"Karkat," John corrects you. "And his brother died a while ago, so we offered to let him stay here."

"Wait, who, Karkat or his dead brother."

John flicks your forehead. "Who do you think, smart one?"

This could be fun. "Egbert, that's disgusting. Everyone knows you should put a dead body-"

"Dave, this is serious." He pulls his legs out from under you. 

"Fine. What about him?"

"He's moving in," John says nonchalantly. 

"What?" You look over at John, lifting up your shades so you can see him better. "What do you mean, he's moving in?"

He sits up. "Your face is priceless," he points out helpfully. 

"John, you better be kidding," you say. 

"Why? I thought you guys were friends?"

"No, we most certainly were not." Surely this is just another one of his stupid jokes.

"What?"

Your conversation is interrupted, however, by John's sister, Jade, walking in the door. Her long, dark hair is braided and tossed over one shoulder, and her glasses are slightly askew. "Oh, hey, Dave!" she says, in what feels like an annoyingly happy tone. "Where's Bec?"

"Your cousin's moving in?" you demand. You're not quite sure why this bothers you so much. 

Her eyes widen. "Ooohhh," she says, nodding. " _That's_ why dad wanted us to clean so much. Okay." She starts toward the kitchen.

"See, Dave," John says. "You're not the only one who doesn't know what's going on."

"Bec!" Jade calls. She looks back at you and says, "Dave, are you staying for dinner?"

"Yeah," you say, watching the dog as he runs down the staircase, having heard his name.

"Okay. Hey John?" You can't even really hear her over what sounds like the can opener. 

"Yeah?" John yells.

"Dad called me and said he's gonna be a little late home tonight, okay?" 

The can opener stops, and you hear a rattle as the silverware drawer is opened. "Sure," he says.

You look at John. "So," you say. "Where's Karkitty sleeping? Your room?"

You can hear Jade coaxing Bec with his dinner. "No," John says. "We're going to set up the basement for him."

"Oh," you say. "Okay then."

"What's that supposed to mean?" John laughs a little.

"Nothing," you mutter. 

"Someth-," he starts. 

You cut him off by saying, "I'm hungry. Why don't we order a pizza."

John gives you a suspicious look, but agrees. "OH!" Jade calls from the kitchen. "Get a pineapple pizza, too!"

 

Despite having already eaten, Bec waits under the table for someone to drop pizza. Just to be nice, you slide a piece of pepperoni under to him. You can hear his tail thump on the floor eagerly. 

John and Jade are talking about... you don't know. Something. You pat Bec's head and take another bite of pizza. 

"So, Dave," Jade says, looking over at you. 

"Hmm?" you say, your mouth full. You swallow and say, "What?"

"How's your brother?" Jade takes a bite of her pineapple pizza (ugh, how does she eat that? Disgusting.) and looks at you intently. Not that this is unusual for Jade.

"Oh, Bro?" you ask, correcting her.  "He's good, I guess. I mean, he still has all his dumb puppets scattered around the house. Like, just yesterday, I found one sitting on my bed! He's so annoying sometimes."

John nods, clearly not listening. His eyes are slightly unfocused,and he's staring into space. You stand up a little and pretend you're going to hit his face. He blinks and jumps a little, then turns to glare at you. 

"I'm listening, don't worry!" he assures you. You roll your eyes. 

"Mmm," you mutter.

You're finishing up your pizza as John says, "I still don't get why you're so worked up about the whole thing with Karkat."

You stop.  _You're_ not even sure why it's such a big deal. You scoff and say, "I- it's just kind of sudden. And you know we don't like each other."

"Dave, it slipped my mind," he retorts. "Besides, he's  _family_."

"How long is he staying?"

"I don't know! Why does it even matter?"

"How does it not matter?" Wow, good one, Strider.

John stands up. "This really isn't worth all the arguing!" Jade tries, standing up too.

John whirls on her. "What do you mean? Of course it is! Dave's overreacting!"

"How am _I_ the one overreacting?" you say, forcing calm. You stand up as well. 

John does this weird thing with his hands, gesturing to nothing. "How are you  _not_ _!!!_ And how are you so calm about all of this? How are you so calm about  _everything?_ "

You open your mouth to send another snarky comment his way when Jade interrupts.

"GUYS!" she yells. She slams her fist on the table. 

The room falls silent. Bec scurries out of the room, his tail between his legs.

You and John stare at her. She takes a few deep breaths and says, "Guys, just... stop. You  _both_ are overreacting. Both of you just  _shut up._ "

The room is quiet for a few moments. Except for Jade's heavy breathing.  

You've only seen Jade get mad a few times. She isn't someone who gets upset over nothing. 

"Fine," you say. "John, sorry." You don't mean it, though.

He looks you over, looking for tell-tale signs you're lying, but Bro taught you how to hide stuff like that. "Fine," he says. He sits down and reaches across the table for another slice of pizza. 

You glance at Jade as you sit down. She's looking between you and John, watching for another outburst from either of you. You take a sip of water from your glass in front of you, pretending not to care. Once she's satisfied, she exhales quickly and sits back down.

"Bec," she calls, as if nothing had ever happened. "Beccy, c'mere, I'm sorry, did I scare you?"

The dog slowly comes out from wherever he was hiding in the living room. He walks up to Jade and nudges her hand with his head, dog speak for  _I know you're sorry. It's okay. Pet me now, please._

Jade smiles and strokes Bec's head. "Good boy," she mutters. 

"Hey, John," you say. "Will you pass me a pepperoni?"

He shrugs and opens the box. "No," he says."None left." He starts to laugh.

"I see nothing funny about our lack of pizza," you say, completely straight-faced.

Jade's head snaps up when she hears you, probably expecting another shouting match.

"What're you looking at?" you ask her. It takes all you have not to laugh at the look on her face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Thank you for the kudos! I got on a little while ago and saw I had SIX KUDOS OMG  
> THANK YOU  
> I LITERALLY JUST UPLOADED IT WOW THX SO MUCH  
> YOU ROCK, SIX GUESTS  
> -Rant over-


	3. At School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A discription of Karkat's loooooooong day of school. Because school scenes are fun to write.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos!

You're awoken by your phone ringing.

You slowly blink open your eyes, trying to figure out where the ringing is coming from. You eventually notice your phone on the bedside table, vibrating and repeating the annoying ringtone that Nepeta set. Your eyes close again of their own accord, but you think, I guess I should probably get up now.

You open your eyes again. The phone has stopped ringing. Enjoying the silence, you throw off your covers and swing your feet over the side of the bed, glancing at your wall clock.

9:32

Hm, you think. Alright. that gives me-

Oh.

Oh damn.

You missed first hour.

And that was probably one of your friends calling to see where you are.

You groan. This. Sucks.

You stand up quickly, making yourself dizzy. You take a moment to un-dizzify yourself (is that even a legit... saying? Word? Whatever, you have other things to worry about), then dash into the kitchen.

First hour was... math. That's okay, you guess, you're pretty good at math and uh, wait, was today the test? Uh oh.

Your cell phone rings again, and you run back into your room. "You pick it up and answer without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello?" You say as you speedwalk back into the kitchen.

"KARKAT!" the voice on the other end yells back. "Where the HELL are you???"

"Um, in my kitchen, why? Who is this?" You think you have a pretty good idea who you're talking to, but you're not positive.

"The one and only LEGISLATOR PYROPE!" Oh. Right. You and Terezi have five of your classes together, including math.

"Great. Hi. Good morning, whatever. How can I help you?" You open one of the cupboards and grab a granola bar and a juice box. "I'm-"

"Hurry up! Slick's pretty irritated, and Nepeta's convinced you're sick or something!" she says, not bothering to lower her voice at all.

"Hey, Terezi, have you ever heard of a phone?" you say sarcastically. "It's this amazing thing that you can talk to people on and they can hear even when you're not screaming!"

"Wow, cool, I'll have to try one of those sometime," she shoots back, equally sarcastic.

You roll your eyes and unwrap the granola bar, shoving it into your mouth. "Look," you say after you swallow. "Can I help you with anything, or can I hang up so I can get dressed?"

Terezi's sigh echos through the phone. "All I'm saying," she says after a minute (during which you finish your "breakfast"). "is basically-"

She's cut off by the bell ringing on her side. She swears and says "Just get to school!" before she hangs up.

You look at the phone screen and scowl. You lightly toss your phone onto the table and rush back into your room. When you get there, you quickly put on the first pair of jeans you find, a grey T-shirt, and grab your shoes as you run out of your room.

You sit on the couch and pull on your shoes, get your phone from the table, then grab your backpack and rush out the door.

You hope your walk to school won't take too long.

 

It takes you ten minutes of sprinting to get to your school. You reach the front entrance and try to pull open the door. It lurches a little, but doesn't open. Oh, right. They never unlock the left or middle doors. You sigh irritably and wrench open the right door.

The door takes you to a small foyer, with a door to the stairs on the left, and the office door on the right. You pause for a minute, looking straight ahead through the glass doors that lead into the hallway. Only one person is in the hallway, someone you don't recognize. You sigh and walk into the office.

There are three people in the office, not counting you: the attendance keeper, or whatever she's called and the woman who reads the announcements who's arguing with some kid over lunch detention at the moment. You walk over to the attendance keeper and say, "I need a pass."

She looks up and studies you for a second. "For who?" she says.

"Me. Karkat Vantas. I'm late." You smile inwardly at the retort.

She tilts her head, not amused. "Ha. I mean who's your teacher."

"Oh. Mr- I mean Dr. Scratch." God you hate that guy. He makes History even more boring than it should be.

"Alright, and you said you're Karkat Vantas?"

"Yes." You try not to start swearing at her.

"Oooh-kay," the attendance lady says after a minute of writing. She hands you a square sheet of paper. "Remember, go straight to class, okay?"

"Sure, yes. Thanks." You turn to leave through the door into the hallway when she calls after you, "Have a nice day!"

Yeah, right. That'll happen.

 

The class period only has about fifteen minutes left when you walk into History. The whole class looks up at the doorway from their books when you walk in. You can feel your face turning red as you walk across to the teacher's desk.

"Ah, Mr. Vantas has decided to join us after all," Scratch says as you approach.

"Yep," you say, handing him the slip.

"Why are you late?" Scratch looks over the sheet, then back at you. His face is as pale as ever, almost the same color as his hair. His light grey eyes are almost glaring at you, but not quite... angry.

"I- my alarm didn't wake me up."

"Mmm hmm." He doesn't sound like he believes you.

"It did."

"You just said it didn't." His comment triggers a few kids to laugh.

You roll your eyes. "My alarm didn't wake me up. I was just confirming why I was late."

He actually glares at you this time, probably for rolling your eyes.

Scrach sighs, but accepts your excuse. "Fine," he says. "Take your seat."

Nodding once, you say, "Thank you."

Everyone stares at you as you walk around the desks to your seat.

You sit down at your desk and open your backpack.

Aaaand, lo and behold, your History book is nowhere to be seen.

This is going to be a long day, you think.

 

You don't see Terezi until fourth hour. Science. One of your favorite classes. And even then, she notices you before you even see her.

You're at your locker when you hear a high-pitched voice yell, "Karkat!"

You whip around, effectively hitting your hand on the side of the locker. A couple of kids at the next locker over give you a funny look. You try really hard and manage to not flip them off.

"What," you yell down the hallway.

"I was afraid you weren't coming today!" A solid mass of Terezi hits you full-on in the chest. You gasp and stumble backwards into a locker. A few kids laugh and "oooohhhh...." at what you figure must be your expression. You feel your face turn red.

"Terezi..." you mutter, peeling her off. "Not now."

"Karkitty!" someone else yells.

You look up just in time to see a particular blonde cat-girl running down the hallway with Terezi's guide dog in hand. (Well, the dog's leash is in her hand, the dog is a Dalmatian or something, way too big to like pick up and carry.)

"Why do you have Dog?" you ask Nepeta. Dog is the dog's unofficial name. You honestly don't know what her actual name is.

"Terezi told me to hold her." She skids to a stop just in front of you.

You manage to peel Terezi off of you and say, "Take your dog. We should probably get going. The bell rings in two minutes and the classroom is downstairs"

Terezi groans, but takes her dog back. "Fine," she mutters. You reach inside your locker for your Science notebook, and you, Terezi, and Nepeta  start walking.

"So," Nepeta says, swinging her backpack unnecessarily, "how've you been, Karkat?"

You shrug. "Tired, confused, overworked. The usual."

"Guess what Karkat is doing in a week or so?" Terezi asks bitterly.

Nepeta's light green eyes widen and she looks excited. "What?" she asks eagerly.

"Don't get so excited," you tell her.

"He's moving!" Terezi yells. "He's moving in with his cousins in God-Only-Knows-Where!"

"Washington. And I thought you were cool with the whole thing?" You glare at her a little.

"No, I'm not 'cool with the whole thing!' We've been best friends since Kindergarten! And you're joining a new school a month into the school year!"

"No, you can't move!" Nepeta whines. "Who's going to be my Science partner?"

"Guys, shut up, you're going to get in trouble." You push open the door to the stairwell. Terezi squeezes past you and rushes down the stairs. You and Nepeta follow quickly. You can't afford to be late for class.

Lucky for you, the Science classroom is right next to the stairs, so you dash in just before the bell rings. Terezi maneuvers to her seat at the back of the room and you and Nepeta sit down in your usual seats, right in the middle of the room. The teacher starts saying something about the Periodic Table when Nepeta slides your notebook closer to her and writes something. She taps you after a minute and points at the notebook.

_what do you mean youre moving?_

You write back:  _I don't know. I mean I'm moving._

_you are? :(( terezi wasnt just being silly?_

_Nope. I'm moving in with my cousins._

"Mr. Vantas." Your head snaps up at the sound of your name. The teacher's standing in front of yours and Nepeta's desk, her arms crossed.

"Yeah?" you ask.

"Is there something you and Miss Leijon would like to say?"

"No.-" you say at the same time Nepeta says, "He's moving!"

The teacher blinks a few times. Nepeta sinks down in her chair as you glare at her. "You... You are?" the teacher asks.

"Yeah," you say again, looking up at her. Before she can ask, you tell her, "Washington. With my cousins."

"Oh. When?" The whole class is looking at you now.

"Next week," you mutter. "I think."

Everyone is silent. You just now realize how much you dislike being the center of attention. 

The teacher clears her throat once. Twice. Three times, and says, "Uh, alright. Anyway, as I was saying..." She continues talking about whatever sciencey-stuff there is to talk about as she makes her way back to the front of the room. You exhale in relief. You thought you were going to be in trouble. 

You sink down in your seat a little when Nepeta nudges you again. You look at the paper.

_sorry..._

You sigh and write: _It's fine, I guess. Don't worry about it._

But you know by lunch, the whole school will know you're leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg, I am terrible at endings >.


	4. Leaving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat being frantic about packing and leaving, and stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a short chapter, but here, have one anyways :)

You were right. The whole rest of the day, and the week, people would come up to you and say, "Wait, you're  _actually_ moving?" and every time you would say, "Yes. Now leave me alone, I'm gonna be late." And despite you saying you're leaving, the teachers piled on homework. When you complained, they claimed it was "in case your new classes were farther ahead that we are." 

So, needless to say, you're exhausted by Friday. You walk in the door that evening with Terezi and Dog behind you. 

"So," Terezi says. "You're leaving tomorrow, huh."

"Yeah." You guide her inside, making sure she doesn't accidentally run into anything, then close the door. "God, I'm gonna miss you guys."

"When are you leaving?" You start to say 'tomorrow,' but she interrupts with, "No, like, what time tomorrow?"

"Uh," you say. John had been true to his word, and had messaged you when he said he would. "Noon-ish, I think." 

"Okay," she says, nodding. "Will you go ahead and text Vriska that?"

"Uh, sure?" You say. "Why?"

"No reason." Terezi shifts, and Dog looks up at her. Dog leads her to the couch. You follow, pulling your phone out of your backpack. 

_Three missed calls._

What... Okay. You tap the screen to listen to them.

The first one is from Vriska. "Hey, Karkat. Call me when you get this, I have a question."

The second one is also from Vriska. "Seriously, where are you. I know you don't have a car, so you can't use the excuse that you don't like to answer the phone while driving. Call me."

The last is from Sollux. "Hey, KK. Vrithka told me to call and athk why you weren't picking up your phone. Whatever, call Vrithka, though, when you can." His lisp made him a little hard to understand. 

You shake your head and sigh.  

"What," Terezi asks.

"Vriska left me a few messages." You walk over to the couch and sit next to Terezi. "I should probably call her."

"Nah, she won't care." She brings her legs up onto the couch and sets them on your lap, leaning against her side of the couch. 

"Mmm." You search through the contact list on your phone until you find Vriska's name. You click  _send message_ and type: **Vriska. Terezi told me to tell you that I'm leaving around noon tomorrow.**

**Oh, and also, I got your messages.**

She replies a few seconds later:  **Oh, gr8. He lives!!!!!!!! Hey, karkat, be at the school aux gym at ten tomorrow, okay?**

You type:  **Why. Will someone tell me what's going on??**

Her: **You only typed two. What's up with that? Either one or 8. There is no in-8etween.**

You:  **?????? There, happy**

Her:  **Sure. Just 8e there, okay? Please? Okay who am I kidding, I don't need to say 'please.' You'll come anyway, I 8et.**

Aw damn she can see right through you. You were planning on going, but no one needs to know that. 

You:  **Fine. See you then**

You lock your phone before she can reply. "I told her," you say to Terezi.

"Cool." She gets up and has Dog lead her to the kitchen. "I'm hungry. Think we could get some pizza?"

"Sure. You paying?" You know she probably will, but.

"Yeah, if you can give him a tip."

"Fine."

 

The pizza was pretty good, especially for Pizza Hut. 

 

You wake up early the next morning. You lay in your bed for a minute, going through a mental checklist. 

 _Do I have everything packed?_ You think.  _I have my clothes and stuff in a bag by the door, the bag with my laptop and chargers is on the couch..._

Yeah. You think that's everything. You'll grab your books and stuff like that in a little bit.

You sigh and get up.

 You walk into the kitchen, take a cup from the cupboard and fill it with water. You take a drink, then think,  _Maybe I should take a shower._

 _Yeah,_ you think after you've drained your cup.  _That's actually a really good idea, thanks, brain._

After setting the cup in the sink, you head toward the bathroom. Lucky for you, there's lots of warm water. Then again, you're not sure why there wouldn't be.

After a quick shower, you can think a whole lot clearer. Your brain reminds you,  _HEY DUMBASS, YOU'VE STILL GOT A LOT OF PACKING TO DO AND YOU'RE LEAVING IN TWO HOURSSSSS._

"Shhhhh......" you hiss to yourself, trying not to swear. Your neighbors tend to get irritated when you yell profanities at the top of your lungs. You learned this the hard way.

You spend the next hour scrambling around the house, trying to get everything you want to bring in one place. You only stop when you find an old scrapbook with "Vantas" spelled out on the cover. You slowly backtrack to the couch and plop down on top of multiple bags. You start flipping the pages absentmindedly. 

The first page has a picture of You and Kankri standing on the front steps of your apartment. You both had backpacks. Kankri had a smug look on his face, and you barely remember being excited. Which explains the elated look on your face. A caption below reads,  _Karkat's first day of Kindergarten; Kankri's first day of Senior year._

You shake your head a bit and close the book, promising yourself you'll look at it again later. Just not now, you have to pack! 

Just then, your phone rings. It startles you. You jump a little, but get up to answer it.

It's Nepeta.

"Hello?" you say.

"Hi!" she replies, her voice grainy. "Are you ready to go?"

"What, no, why?" She says it like you should be ready to go.

"Because! I'm picking you up, remember?" No, you actually  _don't_ remember, probably because it was never discussed. 

"What? When did we decide this?" You blink a few times, trying to remember for sure if you talked about it. 

"Uh, last night? While Terezi was helping you pack?"

Stupid scrapbook. You read one page, and it fogs your whole brain. You start to wonder why you even read it in the first place. "Oh. Yeah. Uh, when would you be picking me up, exactly?"

"Well, we're suposed to be there in half an hour, so-"

"What? We are?"

"Yeah...." She sounds suspicious. "Karkat, are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, I feel fine. Why?"

"You're acting weird. Must be excited, then!" Uh, yeah. Excited. That's one word for it. 

"Okay," you decide. "You can pick me up now if you want. I'm just about ready."

"Okay," she says. "See you in a bit!" 

"Bye," you say as she hangs up. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year, you guys! Have a great 2015! I'm not sure if I'll update tomorrow because I'm going to a New Year's party with my mom and brothers, and I bet I'm gonna be really tired, but I will if I can :)  
> (Also, sorry if the writing's bad, I'm already pretty tired even though it's only six here. :P)


	5. Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave and John and Jade waiting for Karkat to show up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dave needed some more chapters, in my opinion. So here.  
> This may or may not be loosely based off of a real life event.

"If I get electrocuted, I'm blaming you," John says from behind the TV.

"Okay." You have to resist the urge to flip the power switch. "You won't, but whatever floats your boat." 

You can practically hear him roll his eyes. 

You and John have been taking turns behind the TV, trying to plug in the new cable box. It hasn't worked yet.  

"Okay," he says, backing out of his little crevice. "Try it now. It sparked a little when I plugged it in, but-"

"If it sparked, then why are we plugging it in?" Jade asks from the couch. She's curled up with her laptop and Bec, probably watching Netflix. Because, really. Who doesn't like Netflix?

"It'll be fine," John assures you. 

"Remember the last time you said that?" you ask, arms crossed. "Bro had to fish me out of a frozen lake."

"That was me...?" Jade says.

"My point stands. But, if you want to burn down the house, then I'll be right back."

You start to leave like you're actually going to turn the power back on. 

"Dave, wait!" Jade calls. 

"It was just static electricity!" John insists. "The power's not even on!"

You flip the power switch. The lights come back on and John says, "See, I told you!"

You walk over and check behind the TV to see if John's right. Yep, nothing is on fire. At least, it doesn't look like it. You hear Bec jump off the couch and walk over to you. His tail thumps your back as he sticks his face right next to yours. For an old dog, he sure does walk fast. He's like. Fourteen, or something.

He has a lot of energy, too. 

Jade comes over to see what you're looking at. "It looks fine to me," she says. She looks at you and smiles. You tilt your lips slightly upward into something that hopefully resembles a smile.

"And you guys doubted me," John says. You and Jade look at him.

"What?" Jade asks. She looks at you.

You shrug. "Egbert, please just..."

"Don't say it," he snaps.

"Let... it..."

"Dave, please, that movie isn't even ironic." John pleads with his eyes.

"Go." You finish with some finger guns courtesy of Jade. You high five her, then try not to laugh at the look on John's face. "And  _Frozen_ will always be ironic."

Jade nods; John facepalms. 

"Kids," John and Jade's dad says from the kitchen. "Dinner's is ready."

"Dad, we're not kids," John says, standing up. "We're all teenagers whether you like it or not."

Dad Egbert (hey, it's what he asked you to call him, and who are you to argue. Besides, he makes hella good cupcakes.) leans in the doorway and makes a big act of rolling his eyes. Jade laughs and walks over to him. Bec follows like the tag-along he is.

You and John walk into the kitchen behind Jade and Dad Egbert. The kitchen smells like bread and cheese, so you figure it's grilled chee-

Yup. A stack of grilled cheese is on a plate on the table. And there are multiple boxes of "Betty Crocker(TM) Whole Grain Bread Mix!" on the counters. Huh, homemade-ish bread too? He must really care. You take your place at the table. 

"I made enough so everyone can have two," Dad Egbert says proudly. He looks at you. "Dave, I hope you like Colby Jack cheese?"

"Yeah, thanks," you say sincerely. You take a bite and have to close your eyes. It's so delicious. (For Betty Crocker, that is.) 

He, John, and Jade- well, okay, no, Jade kind of zoned out of the conversation, but- are talking about Karkat. Talking about last-minute arrangements, school stuff, etc. You tone them out and find yourself thinking of Karkat, also. What if he comes and breaks apart your friendship with John? What if you hate each other? What if you get along, is the more important question...?

Woah. You need to stop with the "what-ifs", brain. They're no good. Things will be fine. And it they're not, well, you'll burn down that bridge when you get there.

Everyone finishes eating, and and Dad Egbert says, "Alright. I've got to go to work for a little while. Will you guys be okay here?"

"Yeah," John says, answering for everyone. "Don't worry. I can watch these two. I know they're trouble, but I got this."

Jade scoffs and you ignore him. "You don't want me to stay?" Dad Egbert asks. He pretends to sound upset. John rolls his eyes.

"We'll be fine," Jade assures him.

"Alriiiight...." He takes his hat form the rack and starts for the garage door. "If you're sure. I'll see you later, then." He opens said door. "Bye," he says through the crack, after it's only about an inch of space. 

The door closes with Dad Egbert on the other side, and John says, "Okay, now what should we do."

"TV?" Jade asks. She slides some of her leftover sandwich crusts to Bec.

"Nah. I'm tired of the cable box." John sits on the counter. "What do you want to do, Dave?"

You shrug. "Board game?" you suggest. 

John and Jade look at each other. Then they grin. You're starting to get nervous. 

"Have you ever played 'Sorry!'?" Jade asks, looking at you. 

"Yeah, why?" You scoot back in your chair a little. 

"Do you want to play?" John asks. 

"Sure, why?" The nervousness intensifies. (Wait, intensifies? You're not sure if that's an actual word.)

John kicks off of one of the lower cabinets and jumps off the counter. "Jade, you clear off the table with Dave! I'll go get the game!"

Jade eagerly does as he says. You sit in your chair, mystified. 

"Why are you so excited?" you ask. "It's just a board game."

"Oh, we used to play this all the time." She thrusts a stack of plates at you. "Here, put these in the sink. Left side, please."

You follow her directions and walk back over. "So are you really good at it?"

She looks at you, still grinning. "Oh," she says, shaking her head. "You've never played it like we do."

You hope it isn't too dangerous.

 

"Alright," John says once the board is set up. "Dave, you can be red if you want, I know you love that color."

"Sweet." You snatch all the red pieces.

"Jade, you're green, as always."

"You got it!" She scoops all of the green guys over to her side.

"And I'm blue." He adjusts his own perfectly aligned pieces. "Okay, Jade, you're youngest, so you go first."

Jade takes a card and reads it out loud. "'Move forward eleven, or switch places with an opponent.' Well, since everyone's still at 'start,' I'll move."

She does.

"My turn..." John mutters as he draws a card. "I got the same one, so  _boop,_ back to start for Jadey." **  
**

Jade groans, but allows her player to go back to start. "Fine. But I will get revenge. Dave, your turn."

You draw a card. It's a one, but it looks like it's been drawn on. "'Move ahead one or if in the safe zone, go home'?"

"Yeah, but you're not in the safe zone, so just move ahead one." John reaches across the table and takes a card. 

"Hey, it's my turn!" Jade complains. John throws the card across the table like a Frisbee. It hits her in the nose. "Ow, you could've given me a paper cut!"

 "I didn't even move yet," you say. "So technically it's still my turn."

"Jade, GO!" John says. He looks at you. "Dad doesn't like us playing it when he's home. He says it gives him a headache."

"Wow, really." God how you love sarcasm. "I don't know why he would say that."

"Yeah, that's what I said." You roll your eyes.

The game goes on like that for about half an hour, with weird cards with "SEND ONE PLAYER BACK TO START" and "BOOP. GUESS WHAT, YOU GET TO GO BACK TO START." written on them in Sharpie. But the game really gets interesting when John starts yelling.

"This is the THIRD CARD LIKE THIS I'VE GOTTEN the last THREE TURNS!" he says loudly. John throws the card across the room, but it does nothing except for flutter gracefully to the floor. Jade looks like she's trying not to laugh. "IT'S NOT FUNNY!"

"No," Jade agrees. "It's simply-" She snorts. "- simply terrible."

"It's a little funny," you say, looking at the four blue pieces in the "Start" circle. "And you're laughing."

John giggles, then tries to put on a straight face. He grips the board and flips it over. Cards and plastic pieces fly everywhere. "John!" Jade says at the same time you say, "John, goddammit."

Bec runs around the table, barking happily. A red piece hits him on the head, and he blinks. You almost laugh. 

Jade and John are stumbling around the kitchen like drunks, laughing their heads off and trying to pick up game pieces. You give up on the straight face and allow yourself to laugh a little.

Your game session is cut short by the doorbell ringing. The kitchen goes quiet. 

You interrupt the silence by saying, "I can go get it." There's still laughter in your voice. John shrugs, and throws a handful of cards at Jade. They both start laughing again.

You stand up and go to answer the door, hoping it's someone good. Not just anyone can interrupt Game Time with the Egberts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update! First I was too tired, then I had writer's block, and.... yeah. Thanks for being patient, though :) I'm just kind of basing Dad Egbert off of my dad, I hope he's not too far off.  
> ALSO I'M CHANGING IT JAKE IS LIKE A COLLAGE STUDENT NOW, SO THAT'S WHY HES NOT HOME VERY OFTEN  
> AND JANE GRADUATED FROM COLLAGE AND WORKS FOR BETTY CROCKER LOL
> 
> SOMEONE NEEDS TO TAKE CAPS LOCK AWAY FROM ME


	6. Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat actually does arrive at the Egbert's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Karkat's POV

You wait at the door for a few seconds before you ring the doorbell. After you do, no one answers. You check the driveway for a car; a red compact car is sitting on the curb. You shrug and ring the bell again. You hear a dog bark, then a guy’s voice yell, “Bec! Calm down!” The door opens a second later.

A boy, maybe your age or a little older, is standing in the doorway, trying to gently push a white dog away from the door. The guy has blonde hair and is wearing a red sweatshirt. You can’t see his eyes because he’s wearing sunglasses. “How can I help you?” he says.

“Um,” you say. “I’m looking for a John Egbert?”

“Sure.” The guy turns and yells, “John! Someone’s at the door for you!”

“Well, invite them in!” a girl’s voice yells. She sounds like she's been laughing.

The blonde sighs. “Would you like to come in,” he asks in a monotone.

“I don’t even know your name,” you say as you step inside. He slams the door behind you.

He sighs again. “I’m Dave.” He raises his voice again. “John! I said, come HERE!”

“Hold on!” another guy’s voice yells. There’s some conversation you can’t hear from one of the other rooms, kitchen maybe, and then the girl’s voice yells, “Because I said so! And I’m older!”

"No you're not!" the second guy's voice says. Dave sighs and leans his weight on his left foot. He looks annoyed.

“Jade, call your dog, please,” Dave yells, still pushing to dog to one side. “Bec, I said, _heel!_ ”

“Beccie!” The girl yells. “C’mere, Bec!”

The dog looks up (it’s probably some sort of husky, you decide) and runs toward the voice.

“John’s in the kitchen,” Dave says. “Follow me. It’s this way.”

He leads you through a room that seems to serve as a living room and into a kitchen with two other teenagers and the dog, Bec, in it. The boy has shaggy dark hair that hangs in his eyes and huge, square glasses that magnify both his blue eyes and a few strands of hair. The girl has the same dark hair, only longer. It’s about halfway down her back. It’s pulled part-way out of her face with a headband with dog ears on the top. She wears glasses too, only hers are round. Her eyes are about the color of tree leafs.

“Oh!” the girl says. “Um, hello!” She glances around then looks back up at you like 'ohmygod I'm so sorry our floor isn't always covered in cards.'

You nod at her politely. The dog walks over to you and starts sniffing your feet. You do an awkward shuffle to avoid him. Dogs have always made you feel a little uncomfortable. 

"Bec, ya dumb dog, give him some space," says the guy who you guess is John. He grabs the dog's (Bec's?) collar and pulls him back to give you some room. "I'm John." 

"I figured," you say, nodding once. "I'm Karkat."

"Ohh," the girl says. "Hi!"

Dave elbows her and mutters, "Introduce yourself."

"Oh! Um, I'm Jade," she says. Her eyebrows go up and down once and she shakes her head a little.

 "That's Dave," John says, gesturing to none other than the "Cool Kid" himself. 

"I know," you say, harsher than you mean to. "We met."

"Do you remember him?" Jade asks. "Because apparently you've met before."

"We have," you say doubtfully. 

"In like second grade," he says. "Wow, how could you forget someone like me?"

"Because why wouldn't I," you retort. 

"I thought I was more memorable than that. You've surprised me Vantas." He shakes his head.

"How is it surprising someone doesn't remember an obviously fake act of coolness?" And how is it you can't even come up with a good insult?

You open your mouth to say more, but John cuts you off. "Woah, okay," he says. "That's enough of that. I was gonna ask if Dave wanted to take you downstairs-"

"I will," he interrupts. "Don't worry. It's one flight of stairs. We won't kill each other. Promise."

John looks skeptical, but Jade says, "They'll be fine!"

You don't protest, even though you want to. You have to bite your tongue (literally. It hurts...) to keep from saying anything other than "Alright."

"Okay..." John walks over and opens the basement door. "Karkat, your room is the first door on the right. Dave, Karkat's room is the first door on the right."

"Yeah, yeah," Dave mutters as he leads you down the stairs. 

* * *

"So," Dave says after the door closes behind you. "Karkat, huh." 

"Yes," you say defensively. "Why?" 

"Weird name. Is it, like, a nickname?"

You flush. "So what if it is?" It's not. Your mom had a sense of humor.

You see his hands go up. "Hey, calm down. I'm just asking. So-"

"Dave just shut up!" You've been here for about five minutes and this guy is already getting on your nerves. 

He's silent for a half-second. "Wow," he says. "We let you stay here and this is how you treat me."

Woahwoahwoah. Hang on.  _This guy_ lives here too? You choke on your tongue and step off the last stair. Dave turns around. "What?"

"You- you live here-" you stammer.  _It's really not that big of a deal,_ you try to tell yourself. But your brain won't listen. 

"You're so short," Dave says. "Lookit you. You like... Wow." You look up and glare at him. And you realize you actually are kind of short. Or he's tall, rather. You barely come up to his chin. You look behind you and step up onto the staircase again.

"See, now you're the short... one..." You start to brag, but then realize you're barely the same height. (And he's still taller. Goddammit Strider.)

He looks like he's trying not to laugh; he's barely suppressing a smile. "Shut up!" you grumble, and you step down and walk past Dave to your new room.

"I'm going upstairs," he calls. 

"You do that," you yell back. You hear the door slam no less than a second later. You roll your eyes and survey the room. 

Dave had already flipped the lights on. It's not huge. It's bigger than your old room, and has what looks like a Queen-sized bed in the corner. The walls are a reddish-grey, and it must be on the edge of the property because there are two long windows along the top of the room. There's a lamp on the bedside table, a dresser by the door, and a closet on the wall opposite the bed.

You drop your bags on the floor. Sighing, you flop onto the bed and accidentally fall asleep. 

Oops.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Such a weird ending omf  
> Oh and I figured out how to work the line-break-thing. :D


	7. Mornings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which sleep, book blasphemy, milk demon, Dave is a butt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unedited! 8addie will probably change the end if it doesn't suit her fancy so be open to change, yo.
> 
> This is BadWolf! I'm the new coauthor. Hi, guys!

You duck into Karkat's room an hour or so later to ask him if he ate yet (you can't believe John forgot to ask (okay, yeah you can),) and huh, he's already asleep.

It's only about eight. Maybe he goes to bed early. (Haha, what is he, five?) Wow. Mama's boy much?

You shut the door, not bothering to close it quietly, and head back upstairs. John and Jade are screwing around on the Wii, playing some game (baseball, you think,) so you head up to your room.

Your room is on the third floor. It's still clean from when Mr. Egbert made you pick up last week, which frankly is a miracle, because you have an ability to mess stuff up in like five minutes.

You flop down on the bed, grabbing your phone off the charger as you go, and click on Temple Run (only the best time waster/gravity defier (is that a word?) ever.)

A couple hours pass. You toss your phone back in the charger and head downstairs again. It's ten o'clock, John is nowhere to be seen, but despite the fact Jade has practice tomorrow (she plays soccer, natch,) she's reading on the couch.

"Hey," you greet her.

She looks up. "Oh, hi, Dave! What's up?"

"Sky," you deadpan. "Isn't it a bit late?"

"Not if you're up," she says, flashing you a bucktoothed grin. "I'm almost done with this chapter, anyway."

"Whatcha reading?"

"Harry Potter," she says, turning a page. "The fourth book."

You've never actually read that. Huh.

"I'm about to head to bed," you tell her. "Just came down for a drink."

"Right," she says distractedly. (Distractedly, is that a word?) It's pretty obvious she's not paying attention, so you head into the kitchen and grab a glass for your nightly apple juice.

One and a half cups later, you're brushing your teeth and then flopping down on your bed. Unlike most mainstream media says, sleep is not instantly available.

Soon enough, though, you drift off. You don't dream, or if you do, you don't remember dreaming.

You wake up the next morning to Beastie Boys playing from your alarm. (Best wake-up call ever.)

After a few seconds, you stand up, pulling on clean clothes and heading downstairs to feed yourself.

Nobody else is up yet. You're the earliest riser in the house except for Mr Egbert, so you're not surprised.

You pour yourself some Koko Bombz (ew, the misspellings hurt to look at) and drizzle milk over them. (Milk always goes second. Anyone who puts their milk in first is evil.)

Halfway through your second bowl, the basement door opens. You looks up, and lo and behold, there is the houseguest, who you'd managed to finally forget about.

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty," you say suddenly. You take another bite.

He grimaces. "Don't call me that." Score.

"Want some cereal?"

He shrugs and goes over to the cabinet where they keep the cups. He opens it, looks in, opens the plates cabinet, then says, "Um, where are the bowls?"

You point to the cabinet to his left. He grabs a bowl and comes to sit down across from you.

"So," he says awkwardly. "How are you?"

You ignore him. It's too early on a Saturday for this bullcrap.

He doesn't try to make conversation again, thankfully. Just pours his milk and cereal into the bowl and busies himself eating that. (In that order. He is truly Satan.)

You grab Jade's book off the counter for something to do, flip it open to a random page, and busy yourself with pretending to be interested in dragons (because dragons are the coolest.)

"DAVE," someone yells, and then you're hit from behind with a raging Jade, snatching her book away from you. "DO NOT READ THE FOURTH BOOK FIRST. BLASPHEMER."

So, it's a normal morning in the Strider-Egbert-Harley household.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is something I derped out on a random inspiration. Wanted to contribute, and 8addie has writer's block, so. Here y'all are. 
> 
> ALSO, DO NO WORRY. SLOPPY MAKEOUTZ ARE COMING AS SOOOOON AS I'M ALLOWED TO WRITE THEM. PROBABLY LATER RATHER THAN SOONER, THOUGH! 
> 
> Ilu guys.


	8. Stairs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Which The Co-author Introduces A New Character (or two or four) :

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here have a really long chapter I have no idea how long this is :|

Later that day, the doorbell rings. You're sitting on the Egberts' couch in the living room, reading a book Jade lent you.

Dave goes scrambling down the steps and skids around the corner. You hear the door hit the wall and he says, "Sup, Rox."

"Ddayveey!" she squeals, and then he staggers back into sight with a blonde girl draped around his neck. "Davey, hi!"

You exhale and stand up, closing your book, ready to make a swift exit to your room (you have no reason to be here) but the girl spots you and says loudly, "M-o-g. No, I mean, OMG. Davey, is this him?"

"Yeah, that's the Vantass," Dave says offhandedly. "Cmon, let's go up to my room."

"Nooo, you should introduce me!" She slurs her words. You wonder if it's an accent or if she's drunk.

"Fine. Vantass, Roxy. Roxy, Vantass." Dave looks slightly irritated.

"Oh my god," she says excitedly. "Wait, are you. Wait. You're Vantas? Ohhhh, nice to meet you." She grins.

"I'm Karkat," you say stiffly. "Vantas is my last name."

"He's adorable," she whispers to Dave. "Have you kissed him yet? Omg, he looks like a kitten." She raises her voice. "Karkitten! Meow. Hi, I'm Roxy!"

You have no idea what to think. She sounds drunk. How old is she? Probably not much older than Dave, who (you think) is about fourteen. So, maybe fifteen?

"Hey," you say eventually, and then turn and make your way around the coffee table towards the basement steps.

"No, wait," she says. You stop.

"Davey, what were we going to do. Portal 2, did you said? Say?"

"... Yeah," he says cautiously.

"We should ask him to play!"

"Roxy, it's a two player game. Come on."

"Nooo," she protests.

You duck down the stairs while they're arguing.

Once you're safely ensconced in your room-fortress, you flip the book open (Inkheart, you think it's called) and keep reading. You're at a good part.

You ignore the footsteps overhead, and the smash of a glass (you think) and what sounds like an entire encyclopedia being dropped on the floor, but when your door opens, you finally look up.

John is standing in the doorway, leaning on the door. “Can I hang out down here for a while?” he asks. “Things are pretty crazy upstairs. Roxy’s drunk again."

Again? You think. You shrug. “I guess. Just... Don’t mess with anything. I’m still unpacking.”

“Cool.” John’s face lights up, and you go back to your book. You’ve only read about a paragraph before John says, “What are you reading?”

You impatiently show him the cover of the book, and continue reading. “Oh,” he says. He walks over to the dresser and starts looking over the random stuff that has accumulated there in the last day or so.

"Don't mess with that," you snap.

"Oops! Haha, sorry." He comes and flops down besides you.

You roll your eyes and bring your book up closer. John shifts, shaking the whole bed. You glare in his direction.

"What's wrong, Karkat? You look a little, um, constipated." He snickers.

"Shut up and screw off," you snap. He winces.

Feet come clattering down the stairs. You look up at the door, preparing your best glare, and Jade bursts in. "JOHN HELP DAVE'S GONE ROGUE HE'S DESTROYING THE CITY HEY KARKAT WANT TO PLAY SUPERHEROES WITH US."

You blink. "What?"

“You heard me!” She rushes in and jumps on top of John. The bed shakes again, causing you to drop your book (and therefore lose your place).

“Agh!” you say. John and Jade look at you.

“You okay?” John asks.

“Yes. I’m fine.” Your voice is snippy.

Jade grabs your wrist. "Then come on!"

"No, AUGH, LET ME GO," you screech, flailing. John grabs your other arm and they drag you up the stairs.

Dave is nowhere to be seen. They march you upstairs to the second floor and down the hall into a room (painted green with pictures of dogs and beaches hung on the walls.)

And there is a sudden horrible howl, and then Dave leaps out from behind the door and Roxy from under the desk. Dave knocks you down and flops on top of you, and Roxy pins John against a wall.

Jade shrieks. Then she elbows Dave in the back, which shoves his arm into your stomach. You cough.

"Sorry, Karkat!" She yells. "I'm trying!"

Dave hooks his arms around your neck and clings. "Jade, I have taken the cat hostage! If you want it back, you have to-"

Jade snakes an arm between his throat and your face. She pulls.

Dave lets go, gasping. Jade hauls him off of you and you scramble to your feet, face burning.

You splutter for a second, then say, “What was that?”

“Karkat, run,” John says. “Run while you still- _heugh_.”

“No talking!” Roxy yells, and she puts an arm to John’s throat. You take that as your sign to leave.

You stand up and start to run out of the room. “He’s getting away!” Roxy yells. “Get him, Dave!”

You look behind you when you get to the stairs. Dave is two steps away from you. You turn to run down the stairs, but you trip. You feel someone grab the back of your shirt, and you both go tumbling down the stairs.

When you finally hit the wall at the base of the stairs, you lop backwards and lay sprawled on your back for a minute. Your eyes are closed.  You hear footsteps from upstairs, and several voices yelling “Karkat!” and “Dave, oh my god!”

You open your eyes only to see Jade leaning over you. “Are you okay?” she asks.

You nod. “Yeah, the stairs must have something against me though.”

“Okay, good.” Jade helps you sit up, and you look over at her. Behind her, you can see Dave, and he- is he smirking?

“I warned you about stairs, Karkat,” he says, smirking. Your jaw drops. He shoved you down a flight of stairs just so he could warn you about them?

(Okay, well, he didn't shove you, but it feels like he did.)

“What?” you say, slightly outraged. “Wow, okay! What is this, ‘Bother Karkat Until He Decides To Step In Front Of A Bus Like His Dear Old Brother’ Day?”

You stand up, glaring at everyone (shooting Dave an especially potent look) before stalking out the front door (with no idea of where you’re going.)

A couple blocks later, you’re thoroughly lost. You’re pretty sure you’re also wandering in circles. And, crap, your phone is gone from your pocket. You’re sure you had it after you fell down the stairs, which means it’s probably gone for good.

CRAP, and it had your pictures of Kankri on it. This day sucks the worst. THE WORST.

Oh, hey, that’s a park. You can go in there to see if there are any kindly mothers who can point you back to John’s house...which, crap, you don’t remember the address.

You head for the park anyway, and you sit down on one of the swings. There are a few other people by you: a curvy girl with pink-rimmed glasses on and a boy in 3D glasses.

Three-D glasses boy is ranting about how some game's graphics sucked (from what you can hear.) He has an Italian accent, you muse. (You're not sure how you know it's Italian, you just do.)

"Hello," Someone says behind you. "I found the park, but I did not know where to go. My apologies for taking so long."

A tall girl wearing a red ankle-length skirt walks past you to join the group. You turn back to your swinging.

No, bad Karkat, you chide yourself. No stalking the nice people.

But maybe they can help you find your way home, your inner voice argues.

You sigh and then reluctantly walk over to the group. You hover about four feet away, waiting.

The 3D glasses boy is the first to notice you. He looks over at you and then says snidely, "Can we help you?"

"I, um," you start, your cheeks flushing red.

"Oh, hi!" The girl with the glasses beams at you. "How can we help you? Do you...oh no, please don't tell me you want an autograph."

"What? No," you reassure her. "No, I'm kind of, um... Lost, actually."

3D glasses boy snorts. "Lost? HERE? What, are you new or something?" He has a faint lisp. He will hereby be dubbed Lispy Jerkface.

"Yes,actually," you snap. "I just moved, and I dropped my phone, and I can't find my way home. Are you going to help me, or should I go find a pre-schooler with actual manners?"

Lispy Jerkface laughs. The girl in the skirt places a hand on his shoulder and nudges him aside, coming to stand in front of you.

"Hello," she says. "I'm Kanaya. What's your name, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Karkat," you say, exhaling.

"Hello, Karkat. Do you-"

"Yo," someone calls behind you. "Karkitten, whatcha-"

Strider. Of course. Of course HE came after you.

"Oh, hey, Kanaya," Dave says in a much different voice. "How are you guys?"

"I am well, thank you, David." She smirks at him. You blink.

“You know each other?” you ask.

"Yes," Kanaya says. "We do."

"How do you know them?" Dave asks. "You literally just moved here."

"I don't," you snap. "I was just asking them if they knew how I could get home. How do you know them?

“Kanaya and my sister are a thing.” Dave nods toward Kanaya.

“Who?" 

“Rose. She's older than me but the youngest sister." How many siblings does this kid have?

"Then why don’t you live with her...?”

 ****"Why would I? Anyway, John's pretty upset. You should probably come back to his house." He didn't call it "home" like you did. Why are you even calling it that? It's _John's house._  Not home. God Karkat get a grip. 

"Okay. Thanks for your help, I guess," you say to the group of people.

"Yep!" the short, chubby one says. "Have a good rest of the day!"

"Uh huh..." you mutter as the group walks away, laughing.

* * *

"You met Kanaya, then?" Dave glances over at you as you're walking hom- back to John's house. 

"Yeah." You stick your hands in your pockets and stare at the sidewalk. "She's okay, I guess."

You're both quiet for a few minutes until Dave says, "Sorry for shoving you down the stairs."

"Huh?" you say intelligently. You blink. "Oh, uh, it's fine. I like being pushed as hard as possible down thirty feet of stairs."

"Dude, it was like ten feet." He jumps into the street and balances along the gutter. You watch him for a minute, then trip over your own feet. You catch yourself (barely) and start walking like nothing happened. 

"What?" you say when you look over and see Dave staring at you. Or, you think. Again with the shades.

He shakes his head. "You're not gonna last a day at my school."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BadWolf and I (8ad_Wolf) worked on this chapter together. So, hope you enjoyed!
> 
> :EDIT:
> 
> (Author's note: BadWolf: Sup. Okay, so, here's something. 
> 
> 8ad_Wolf and I are in slight disagreement over whether or not to use swear words in this. I myself tend to use swear words to represent the characters, while 8addie prefers to swear less. Thusly, there may be a couple swears in this, but they're usually going to be contributed by me. :) ))


	9. Phones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! It's another chapter! Sorry for the wait, but here it is! 
> 
> There may not be another update for a while, as I (BadWolf) have a lot of stuff going on right now, but this isn't necessarily done! 
> 
> Love you guys! 
> 
> (Also, 8addie and I collaborated on this, but all swears are my own contributions.)

After you get Karkat home, everyone kind of departs to their separate rooms and ignore each other until dinnertime. Then Mr Egbert calls everyone for dinner.

It's pretty quiet at the table. Roxy is ranting about something (you're pretty sure it's alcohol costs going up, oh Roxy.) 

"Roxy," Mr Egbert says, "Calm down. As you are underage and therefore not partaking in anything stronger than coffee, you need not worry about the cost of white wine." 

"Ridiculous!" She barks. "The cost of wine, red or white, affects everyone with my mother partaking." 

Mr Egbert smiles. "I'm sure Romy can take care of herself." 

"She can't," Roxy says intently. "She is a newborn babe. She will be eaten by wolves without me." 

John is watching Roxy rant with his mouth partly open. He's completely forgotten about his fork (and the salad on it.) (You’re pretty sure he has a crush on her, to which you can only say: Egderp, oh Egderp.)

Karkat is poking his salad with a spoon, looking vaguely disgusted by the amount of green on his plate. He’s also bored, judging from the way he keeps drumming on the table with his fingertips.

You kick him. He looks up immediately, glaring around, but Roxy is focused on her story and John is moony-eyed over said female. (Jade is serving herself seconds.)

Karkat’s eyes rest on you and he gives you the most intense glare you've ever seen. You smirk. He sticks his tongue out and then stabs his salad with his fork. 

During a break in the conversation, Karkat raises his head. "Mr Egbert?" 

"Yes, Karkat."

"I lost my phone." He exhales. "I hate to ask, but- I need a new one." 

Karkat's phone. In the chaos you'd totally forgotten. 

He'd dropped it on the grass outside the house. You'd found it lying there when you left for the park. 

You stand up and run up to your room. It's sitting on the bed (grey, with a sideways 69 drawn on the back in dark red Sharpie.) You scoop it up and jump down the stairs. 

Karkat, Jade, and John are staring at you like you're insane. (Which you kind of are.) You produce the phone and wave it around. "Found it!" 

Karkat looks at you with a mixture of relief, anger, and confusion. "How did you-" 

He grabs it and clicks the power button. The background shows (a picture of him with a red-haired girl (she's wearing glasses) and a black boy with dreadlocks (who looks half-asleep.) ) Then he exhales in relief. 

"Thanks," he says, exhaling. He looks like a weight has been taken off his shoulders. 

"No prob," you tell him. 

"You two are adorable," Roxy says. (She's slurring her sentences. You wonder if she partook in her hip flask before dinner.) 

"What?" Karkat asks. 

"I can practically see the sparks in your eyes," she continues. "The chemistry is sizzling." 

Jade elbows her. You think you understand what she's getting at, but you don't like it. (You've only known him for a few days.) You glance at Karkat out of the corner out your eye.

He's glaring at his plate like it has wronged him thoroughly in some way or another. You resist the urge to smirk.

"Anyways," Roxy says. “My mom is gonna go batsh-”

“No swearing at the table,” Mr Egbert interrupts. 

Roxy rolls her eyes. “My mom is gonna go crazy if she can’t afford her liquor is all I’m sayin’.”

Karkat is scrolling through his phone. You stretch up to see what he’s looking at and he’s, huh, scrolling through the pictures of the kid who looks like him (but older. Dad? Brother? Sister with short hair? Nah, no chesticles.)

He looks up and catches you staring. He gives you a sour glare. You stick your tongue out. He wrinkles his nose.

“Ahem,” Mr Egbert says. (John’s dad is very formal.) “If you’re all done eating, we can clear up and you may be excused.”

Jade and Roxy stand up as one, making a mad dash for the sink to put their plates away. Then they scramble upstairs. 

You take your time. You finish eating and put your plate in the dishwasher, then motion for John to follow you. 

He's purposefully slow, you think. You groan. "Hurry up, slowpoke!" 

John grins, stowing his bowl and following you up the stairs. 

"So, what's up, Dave?"

"I dunno," you say, which is not strictly true. "Wanna play Portal 2 with me?" 

"... Sure," he agrees, narrowing his eyes. 

You turn the TV on and put in Portal 2, bringing up the save file. You're at the part where Potato GlaDOs is blathering about how sucks everything is. 

You play for a while (you're being orange, the tall one) and finally ask, "Who's the dude who looks like Karkat but bigger?" 

John stiffens, sitting up straighter. "What?" 

"Karkat has a bunch of pictures on his phone of him. Is he like, his dad? Kind of young for that, though."

"You went through his phone?" John asks incredulously. 

"It was an accident," you protest. 

"How do you ACCIDENTALLY go through someone's phone?" John screeches. 

"There's no screen lock," you explain. 

John punches you in the stomach. "You're a jerk," he says. 

"I know. So who is it?"

"Remember how I said his brother was dead? It's his brother, you jerkface."

"Oh." Wow, now you feel like an ass. “Well, sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing to me? Go talk to Karkat!”

“Why? I don’t want to go talk to Karkat.”

Someone clears their throat. You look up and see a certain Vantas standing in the kitchen doorway. You can tell he heard your whole conversation. John shifts nervously and pauses the game.

“Hey-” you start, standing up. 

“You went through my phone?” He interrupts. 

“Straight to the point, I see.” You walk over to him. 

“No dip, Sherlock.” He turns and heads downstairs, clearly mad.

“Hey, wait.” You follow, knowing very well this could be the last thing you ever do. “I didn’t mean to-”

He whirls. “You don’t just accidentally go through someone’s phone! Did no one ever teach you manners or something?”

“You know, you should really put some kind of lock on your phone.”

“Why?"

"Because otherwise THIS will happen."

“It could’ve been avoided if you just DIDN’T LOOK THROUGH IT!” He stomps over to the basement door, opens it and slams it in your face as he walks downstairs. 

You flip off the door and walk back over to the couch. You plop down next to John again. You’re silent as he unpauses the game. 

“You kind of deserved that,” he points out. You bite your tongue. 

“Did not,” you mutter. “Wrong wall- why did you shoot it there.”

“Because I can.” he glances over at you. “You should apologize, you know.”

“Hell no, he deserved it.” You put your put your feet on the coffee table in front of you.

“How did he deserve it?”

“He... did.” You just need to shut your mouth. Forever. And ever.

“Go apologize. Or I’ll throw the game in the garbage disposal.”

You give a dramatic gasp. “Egbert, no.”

“Egbert yes.” He stands up and walks over to the Xbox, or whatever it is he has, and takes out the disk. He puts his finger through the middle of it and spins it a little. “Last warning.”

“Fine, I’m going,” you grumble. “Hope you’re happy. Also don’t play till I get back.”

“I’ll think about it.” He puts the game back in the case. 

You walk over to the basement stairs and head down them. Karkat's door is closed and there's a piece of paper on it that says 'KEEP OUT, SHITSTAINS' and then in parentheses, 'JADE AND MR EGBERT ARE FINE.' 

You have to smirk. The kid is funny at times. Though why he's mad at John, you don't know. 

You raise a hand to knock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sorry for the cliffhanger.
> 
> (Hi there everyone this is 8ad_Wolf and I just want to say thank you so much for all of the kudos omg)


	10. Hugebass Whales and Homosexuals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :o)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi so um this is 8ad_Wolf and I just.  
> Thank you for all of the kudos. Look at that. Over 80. That's pretty awesome.  
> I wasn't expecting all of those! And just thanks :)

You’re almost asleep when someone knocks on your door. “Go away,” you say, because a nap sounds great right about now.

“Karkat, I want to tell you something.” You groan. Of course, it’s Strider.

“Then tell me through the door.”

"No."

“Then go away, I’m trying to sleep.” You roll over so you’re facing away from the door. 

“It’s like six, why are you sleeping?” 

“Go. Away,” you say patiently. You press a pillow over your head to try to block out the sound.

Contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t actually block out any sound. You can still hear Strider say, “Can I come in, I have a proposition for you.”

That sparks your interest, but you mumble “read the sign, it’ll answer your question” anyway. 

You hear him sigh, and then something that sounds suspiciously like the door opening. You ignore it and glare at the wall. The bed goes down on one side, and you glance over your shoulder. 

Dave looks back at you through his shades. You frown and look away. 

You hear him sigh. He finally says, “Look. I’m sorry I went through your phone. So to make up for it, I would like to invite you on an outing with-”

You sit up. "Are you seriously asking me out? Really, Strider?”

“No, let me finish. John and I are going on a small outing, and we would like to know if you want to come.”

“...what?” You’re honestly confused. 

“Let me dumb it down for you: me and John. Are going to the park tonight. Do you want to come.”

“Wow, thanks. I don’t know, when?”

“Twelve or twelve thirtyish. Yes then?”

Your mouth drops open. “Does Mr Egbert know you’re going?” 

“I don’t know. I doubt it.” He stands up. “Yes then. Meet in my room at twelve, okay?”

You sit, confused. “Okay...?”

“Great. See you then.” He leaves.

 

Six hours later, you're pulling on one of your old hoodies (it used to be Kankri's, it has a weird symbol that reminds you of a blood droplet on the back) and heading up the stairs quietly to meet Dave and John. They're waiting on the front porch. 

"Ready to go?" John asks, flashing his bucktoothed smile. 

"As ready as I'll ever be," you grumble. "Let's go." 

"I like your hoodie," Dave offers. 

You shoot him a glare. "I don't care if you like it." 

Dave looks taken aback (or as much as you can tell through those stupid sunglasses.) He doesn't reply.

"...Right, then to the park we go!" John interrupts. 

You start walking. 

John and Dave start talking, and leaving you out of the conversation. This hurts a little, but you don’t care. You don’t even know what they’re talking about. You zone out.

The park, of course, is abandoned. It's dimly lit by a street lamp, but it's dark. 

Dave looks around and then grabs your wrist, dragging you towards the swings. "Come on, Vantass!" 

"Let go!" You screech, but he doesn't.

"Swings are the best part!" He's grinning, which is unusual. Normally he has a straight face. "I'll push you!" 

"... Fine," you grumble. You shake him off and walk to the swings on your own, plopping down. "But only for a little bit." 

He starts pushing, and then suddenly he pushes you so high he can run under you, which he does. You scream and cling to the chains. 

John is laughing. You hold tighter. "This sucks!" You shout. 

And then movement across the street catches your eye. You look up, and... That's a person. They're messing with something by the wall, looks like. 

And then you fall off the swing. 

One second, you're going up, the next, you're hitting the mulch. The breath gets knocked out of you and for a second you have to curl up and gasp. 

Dave comes running over. "Shit, Karkat, are you okay?" 

You can't answer. You can't even breathe. 

Dave puts a hand on your back. "I'm gonna sit you up," he says softly. "So you can breathe." 

He does so. You lean against him and regain your breath. 

"Okay?" He asks when you finally can breathe. (It takes less time than it feels like.) 

"Yeah," you say. You look up, and the figure is still there. "There's someone across the street." 

Dave looks up. "Oh, so there is," he says, and the next second, he's up and running towards them. 

"Dave-" John calls, staring after him, and the figure turns. 

The next minute they're running, but Dave is impossibly fast. He tackles them and from across the street you hear a faint "Fuck!"

Dave stands up, walking back across, and the stranger follows stumblingly. When they cross under the street light, you see why. 

They are a she, and Dave has ahold of her incredibly long braid. He's towing her by that, and she's swearing in a husky voice. 

"Let go, mothe'glubbe'," she snaps, trying to kick Dave. He laughs. 

"She was spraypainting the building," he says to your horrified expression. 

"Don't hurt her, come on, Dave!" John grabs Dave's hair holding hand. "Let go!" 

"Shell ye," the girl says. "Listen to the boy." 

Her voice is deep and raspy, and she's glaring at Dave. Dave shrugs. “Sorry. I couldn’t let you get caught.”

“You caught her,” John points out.

“That doesn’t count.” He says this like it should be obvious. You roll your eyes.

“Just lemme go,” the girl complains. “Or I’ll call for backup.”

“Backup?” John looks worried.

“She’s all talk,” Dave says. 

"I am not!" She glares at him. You get a weird and funny image of a blowfish puffing up. 

“Yeah, you are, and we all know it.” He glances up at you. He has a little bit of a smirk on his face. “She’s all talk.”

“Are you trying to impress me?” you say. You’re still slightly out of breath.

“Yeah, who’s yer bouyfrond?” the girl asks. She smirks until Dave (still wearing a straight face, no surprise there) yanks on her braid again. You feel your face go red. 

“We’re not...” you insist. Dave cuts you off.

“This is Karkat,” he says. "We're strictly friends. With benefits." He snickers. 

You punch him in the arm. When he says ow, you tell him he deserved it. 

“Why are you out so late?” John asks, clearly trying to stop a fight from breaking out. “Is there-”

“I was PAINTING,” she says loudly. “Now let me go!”

Dave shakes his head. “No. Sorry. Was it just you out here, or were you with your ‘friends.’”

“Why should I tell you?” She crosses her arms. 

“She did say backup,” you say. “Dave let her go.” 

“Or what?” he says, looking at you again.

You kick him in the shin. He lets go of the girl in surprise, and you say, “Or that.”

She nods. “I like this one,” she says. Dave glares at you. 

"What were you even painting?" John asks. 

"A glubbafuckin' beautiful masterwork," she says petulantly. 

"I'm going check it out," you say, and cross the street. 

Oh. Huh. It looks like a... What does that remind you of. Oh yeah, that hugeass whale from... Moby Dock? No. Many Dick. Moby Dick. It's stylized. Black paisley styled lines form it, and around it is a rainbowy mashup. 

You cross back. "What does it represent?" You ask. 

"Hugebass whales," she says, "and homosexuals."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeeeeey, guys! It's me, BadWolf. Right, so we have a lot of kudos. That's super cool. 
> 
> So I saw the amount and I said, okay. Here's an idea. 
> 
> As a result, when we reach one hundred kudos I'm writing a one-shot involving characters that won't get much play. It'll be in this series but apart from the work.
> 
> Let's go!


	11. Museums Are Stupid, A Manual by Karkat Vantas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there are museums, panic attacks, and a cupcake. And stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, this is 8ad_Wolf, telling you that we're sorry for the unannounced hiatus that we took. There's just been so much going on, and I will have you know I really missed having time to write and post -_-  
> Anyway, enjoy chapter 11 :)

“Get up!” someone screams in your ear the next morning. Your eyes open fast. Dave is running out of the room, yelling, “You’re gonna be late for school!”

 Ahhhh, you forgot about school! You sit up and throw the blankets off, swinging your legs over the bed. A quick glance at the clock tells you it’s almost nine in the morning. Their school starts late, you think. You dash out of the room and up the stairs.

 Dave is sitting at the table reading the paper. A box of cereal is on its side in front of him. “It’s supposed to snow next week,” he says without looking up.

 “Yay!” Jade comes into the kitchen in a thin-strapped tanktop and pajama pants.

 “You hate the snow,” Dave argues, shoving a handful of cereal into his mouth.

 “No, I hate summer!” She takes down a bowl and pours some cereal into it. “Snow is awesome.”

 “It’s only October,” you say, taking the box from Dave. He grunts and looks at you. You stick your tongue out and take a single Lucky Charms (registered trademark of Whatever Cereal Brand- you don’t really care) marshmallow. “Guys, we’re gonna be late. We should get going.”

 “John’s not even awake,” Dave points out.

 “What do you mean?” Jade asks. “What are we going to be late for?”

 “Uh, school,” you say, confused. “What time does school start anyway?”

 “Dave...” She looks at Dave and puts a hand on her hip. “You wouldn’t have...?”

 “No, Jade, be quiet,” he says. “I wouldn’t.”

 Jade looks at you again. “We don’t... Go to school?” she says.

 "Why not?” you ask. Jade sets down her bowl, takes a bite, and busies herself with the coffee maker. She’s obviously ignoring you. “Jade, why not,” you repeat.

 "We're... Homeschooled!" Jade smiles nervously.

 "What?" You stare at her, partly confused, partly curious.

 "Hehe, yeah." She's still not looking at you.

 “How come?” you ask.

 “Oh, I don’t know... We just are?” She looks at Dave. “Dave, want any coffee?”

 “Yeah, lots, please. Jade I always want coffee, GEEZ." He flips through the newspaper. "And to answer your question, Karkitten, it's because the school system couldn't handle us."

 "Couldn't handle YOU," Jade puts in.

 "Yeah," he agrees. "The lady is correctamente."

 "That's not a real word," Jade laughs.

 “...can I go back to bed then?” you ask.

 “No.” Dave says this like it should be obvious. He stands up and walks around the table, putting a hand on your shoulder. You shrug, trying to get his hand off. “You must be part of our class, Karkat. Even if the class hasn’t started yet-”

 “Strider, get off,” you say, brushing his hand away.

 “No,” he repeats. “You must- ow!” You step on his foot as hard as you can, and he lets go in surprise. You shove him and start downstairs again (fully intending to slam the door as hard as possible). But Dave grabs the neck of your shirt, and you choke.

 “Oops,” he says innocently. He pulls you backward (closer to him, your mind puts in (you tell your mind to fuck the fuck off) helpfully) and catches you, letting go of your shirt. You push him again, and Jade says over your commotion, “Karkat, do you want any coffee?”

 “No,” you growl. “I’m fine.” You glare at Dave.

 “What are you yelling about?” John’s dad comes into the kitchen and glances at the paper. “Hmm. It’s supposed to snow on Sunday,” he says.

 “Yeah,” Dave says. He’s grabbed onto your shirt again. “Just finished reading it. Says half a foot.”

 “It’s October!” you yell. “Why is it snowing!”

 “It’s not. It will next week, though.” Dave tugs you over to the table.

 “Dave, be nice,” Jade says to him. “Coffee’s on the counter. Dad, yours is in the orange cup.”

 You glance at the counter, and sure enough, there are three steaming cups of coffee sitting by the sink. Jade has one in her hand. She sits on the table and swings her legs like a kid. She takes a sip and winces a little. “Careful, it’s hot.”

 “No shiiii.... kidding,” you say, barely managing to not swear.

 “Good save,” Dad Egbert says, picking up his cup. You flush and nod a little. He raises his eyebrows at you over the top of the cup.

 Dave clears his throat. “What are we doing for school today, Egbert?”

 “Weeeell...” he says between sips. “I was thinking we could go up to the science museum a little later.” 

“Oooh, that one?” Jade says excitedly.

 “Which one?” you ask.

 “Yep,” Dadbert says, completely ignoring your question.

 “That one’s so cool,” Dave says. You look at him, and he looks the least bit excited.

 “Which one?” you repeat, knowing no one will answer.

 “I’ll go wake John up!” Jade says, hopping off of the table.

 “What museum!” you say.

 “A science museum,” Dave says, letting go at last. “You know that weirdo we met at the park the other day?”

 “Which one,” you say in a monotone. You walk over to the basement door and walk down. Dave follows.

 “The one with the scarf.” He rushes ahead of you, slamming the door, and runs down the stairs. He jumps off the third one from the bottom. “He works there, so in addition to seeing cool sciency things, you get to make fun of him in his stupid outfit. He wears the scarf to work.”

 “Wow, really?”

 “Yeah.”

 You both walk into your room. Dave flops down on your bed and you walk over to the dresser. You open the top drawer and pull out the first shirt you find.

 “Get out so I can change,” you tell him.

 “Why, we’re both guys,” he argues.

 “Dave, just get out, or I’m not going to get dressed at all,” you snap, throwing a shoe at him.

 He dodges it, but walks outside anyway. You shut the door in his face.

 “And there’s a snack bar at the front with the best cupcakes,” he says through the door. You sigh and peel off your shirt from yesterday.

 “Yeah?” you say, not really listening. “Sounds cool.”

 “Uh huh. I’ll have to get you one while we’re there.” You pull the clean one (green with a fancy symbolic thingy on it) over your head. You decide your jeans are still clean enough to wear and open the door.

 Dave flops onto your feet like he had been sitting against the door waiting for you. “So, you ready?” he asks.

 “Eugh,” you reply, and step over him. He grabs hold of your ankle and you trip, hitting your nose on the floor. It stings, and you’re pretty sure it’s bleeding.

 “Ow,” you say. “Ow owow. My nose.”

 Dave sits up a little and looks at you. “Ow is right.” He reaches out- you flinch- and tilts your chin up. "Aw, dude, I'm sorry. Hang on-" He scoots back and pulls off his t-shirt (dark gray with a red swirly design on it. It looks like an obscure band's logo.)

 "What?" You pinch your nose, sitting up.

 Dave pulls your hand away and presses his shirt to your nose. You squeak in pain.

 "Sorry!" He falls silent.

 After a minute, (during which you both sit in companionable silence,) he says, "Are you okay?"

 "I'm fine." You are, really, but your nose is still aching, so you stay seated. You don't trust your balance.

 "So," you ask after a minute. "Uh...homeschooled. What is it?"

 Dave laughs. "Basically we stay home some of the day, and some of the day we're out doing ‘educational things’." He makes air quotes with his fingers. You roll your eyes.

 “C’mon,” you mutter, throwing Dave’s shirt back at him. He catches it and you think he looks a little surprised. “Let’s go see if John’s up yet.”

* * *

He is. He’s sitting alone at the kitchen table, drinking (cold) coffee from a mug that says Six Flags. He grunts a hello as you walk upstairs, and not-so-subtly stares at Dave’s chest.

 “Where’s your shirt?” John asks. Dave waves his shirt over his head in response.

 “Where’s your sister?” you ask.

 Jade skips in half a second later wearing a flowy black skirt and a T-shirt. “Interesting combo,” Dave notes.

 “Thanks,” she says happily. She goes over to the coffee maker and pours some leftover coffee into her mug from earlier.

 “I don’t think you need any more,” John says. “Save it for me.”

 “No, this is mine. You can have the rest of the chocolate chips.” Jade sticks her tongue out.

 “Are we gonna go?” you ask.

 "Ugh. If you insist," Dave says, laughing. He stands up. 

* * *

 You arrive at the museum about half an hour later. The nerdy kid from the park is on duty. "DV!" He shouts.

 Dave nods. "Sup, Sol? How's that boyfriend of yours?"

 "Fucking awful and a whiner as usual." He stamps your hands with admissions.

 "Haha, still? Try telling him to fuck off. If he doesn't, fuck him." Dave smirks. An old woman ushering a midget child along shoots a dirty look at you.

 "Quiet down!" You advise. Dave laughs and ruffles your hair.

 The museum is, frankly, nothing you haven't seen before. It's nice enough, but it gives you an itching feeling in your chest that makes you feel closed in. You tug on Dave's sleeve- he's snarking about neutrons with Jade- and hiss, "When are we leaving?"

 "We're not, at least not right now," he tells you. Your shoulders itch.

 "Why not? I'm ready to go."

 "Too bad," he says, and turns back to Jade.

 "No, wait. Dave, it's... " Crap. You don't want to admit that you're mentally freaking out for no apparent reason, so you wildly invent. "It's lunchtime and I'm hungry."

 "We'll leave in a bit for lunch," he says unconcernedly, and keeps talking.

 Now your breathing is shortening. You recognize this. You're about to have a panic attack. So you speedwalk away and lean against a wall, taking deep breaths. _Calm down, Karkat,_ you tell yourself.

Yeah, not going to happen.

You look around. Nobody is in your vicinity. You allow yourself to take a few deep calming breaths. Why now? You just don't know.

Panic attacks are not good. They're frankly awful and you hate them so much you think your heart will explode from the sheer terribleness of the thing called a panic attack.

 “Karkat?” you hear someone yell. “Karkit, where are you?”

 Dave, you think. “Here,” you call back, ignoring the ‘no yelling in museums’ rule. Dave comes around the corner and sees you. “Hi,” you say to him.

 He leans against the wall too. “What happened back there?” He actually sounds concerned.

 “I just need to go,” you admit. “I can’t stand it here, can we leave.”

“Not yet. But we can get you something to eat if you want. There’s a cafe near the front.” Dave stands up and holds out a bent arm, like he wants you to link arms with him. “Come, Sir Vantas, and let me buy you a food item or a soda or something.”

You sigh and shove his arm. “Whatever, Strider. If you really want to, then why not.”

* * *

 The cupcake and Sprite Dave buys you make you feel a lot better, though you don’t want to tell him that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, bros, sisses, and siblings of nonbinary gender! BadWolf is here! 
> 
> We're going to be on hiatus for around two weeks for reasons involving mY MOIRAIL 8ADWOLF HERE IS ABANDONING ME AND I CAN'T WRITE ON MY OWN. 
> 
> 8ack in a while with our regularly scheduled late upd8!
> 
> *edit* 99 kudos???! You guys are amazing. We only had 95 before the update!! Oh gosh we're so close to our first hundred! (Remember! At one hundred kudos I write a storylet!) you guys rock! 
> 
> (ignore her, it's just a spring break vaycay i didnt agree to)
> 
> *edit* hi guys! I just wanted to tell you guys I, BadWolf, have a Tumblr in case you're interested in that.


	12. Announcements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dadbert announces a... n announcement? 
> 
> (SHRUGS LOUDLY)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.  
> We're 8ack.  
> With more short chapters, I'm sorry. We'll try to get some time to write this week and go back to updating on Sundays, but we're both working on cosplays for 4/13 and I don't know how time-consuming that will be.  
> Enjoy!

"So," Mr Egbert says the next day during lunch. "What do you four think of doing our annual camping trip next weekend?"

Instantly, three heads snap up. "YES," Dave says instantly. "Hell YES."

“Where?” Jade asks eagerly. “How far? Road trip?”

“About... Jade, will you bring me my laptop?”

“Yeah!” Jade runs out of the room excitedly, presumably to grab the laptop.

“Where do you go camping?” you ask Dave, who’s sitting next to you.

"North Cascades National Park in Washington,” Dave and John recite, sounding like they’re on a commercial. You raise your eyebrows and turn away.

 “Looks like...” Dadbert says after his computer is loaded. “Two hours or so . So a bit of a drive.”

“IT’S WORTH IT,” Jade screams, dancing around the kitchen. You stare at her.

“We should see if Jane and Jake can make it!” John says.

“Who,” you say.

“They’re our cousins. They’re pretty cool. Jane’s not really one for camping, though, I dunno if she’ll want to come.”

“Jake will,” Dave says, taking a bite of whatever. “He loves camping.”

He sprays you with mushed-up pieces of food as he talks. You frown and wipe your face on your sleeve. “You’re disgusting,” you inform him.

“Thank you,” he says, nodding. You bite your lip to keep from saying anything stupid.

“So we’ll need to make a list of what we need to bring,” Dadbert says. “Dave, will you please?”

He nods and spins the notepad from the middle of the table over to you. “Will you hand me a pen,” Dave says. You look at him and hand him a pink pen from off the floor. (Don’t ask- you’ve learned that’s one of the key rules for living in the Egbert household. Weird things are everywhere.)

He gladly accepts it and writes as Dadbert talks. “Sleeping bags, fire starters, swimsuits if it’s not going to be too cold, tents- Dave, you wouldn’t mind sharing with Karkat, would you-” Dave shakes his head and says “That’s fine.” “S’mores stuff, roasting sticks...”

He goes on to name many more things, and you zone out. You stick your long fingernails into a crack in the table absentmindedly. You think about how they’re going to have to buy stuff for you, and how much trouble it’s going to be. You sigh too loudly, and you’re suddenly aware of everyone staring at you.

“...Karkat, are you alright?” John asks. He looks concerned.

“Y-yeah. I’m fine,” you say, your face growing warm. “I was just... thinking.”

Jade looks at you like she doesn’t believe you. You glare at her, and Dadbert says, “You know you can talk to us about whatever’s bothering you-”

“I’m fine!” you say, maybe a little too sharply. You stand up quickly and your chair falls backwards. Dave barely looks up from what he’s writing as he says, “Don’t break the chairs, Karkit.”

You clench your teeth and manage to walk downstairs without another word.

The walk downstairs seems longer than it usually is. You’re not quite sure why that is, but it bothers you.You can hear someone mumble something, and a chair being moved. You hurry into your room and shut the door, leaning against it. **  
**

“Karkat?” Jade says from the other side. “Are you alright? Can I come in?”

“No, go away, I need to be alone,” you mumble.

“Hmm?” She says louder than necessary.

“NO GO AWAY,” you deadpan.

There’s silence, then footsteps leading upstairs. You feel bad for snapping. You feel terrible. All they've been is nice (except for Dave, but he's occasionally not a fucking idiot) and you're being a jerk. But you can't bring yourself to go back and talk to them.

You curl up and close your eyes, figuring if you can't go upstairs, you might as well sleep.

* * *

You're awoken by someone shaking you and saying "Wake up, Karkitten, get up."

You don't want to, but they won't go away, and so you sit up and yawn and wHY IS DAVE IN YOUR ROOM HOLY CRAP

You jump up. "What the hell!"

Dave sighs patiently. "Come on. It's movie night. You should join us."

"I was sleeping," you snap furiously. "And you wake me up to watch a fucking mo-" You close your mouth suddenly. Now is not the time to pick on people.

Dave raises an eyebrow. "I mean, there's popcorn, and you'll probably get to pick one. So..."

"... Okay," you say finally. Dave looks pleased- like, actually happy. He tones it down a lot though when he catches you watching.

"Come on then," he says after a minute. "They're popping popcorn. I think Dad bought gummy worms."

“Gummy worms?” you say bleakly.

He nods. “You should join us.”

“I said okay,” you snap, then say softly, “Sorry.”

Dave shrugs. “Dude. You’re fine. Everyone has their off days.”

Off days? you think, but say, “I guess.”

“Hey. Karkat.” You look up at him. He runs a hand through his hair and you frown. “What’s actually bothering you? I swear to god I won’t even tell Bec.”

“Bec can’t talk, dumbass,” you say.

“You never know.”

"That's stupid."

"Oh yeah?" He says with an eyebrow raise.

“Yeah.”

"Anyway. Come watch a movie! We have-"

"Popcorn, I know." You stand up. "Okay, whatever."

"You can put on pajamas, you know," he says.

“What will that do to change anything...?”

“It makes it more fun.” And with that, he walks out of the room.

He’s nice enough to shut the door behind him.

You exhale quietly. You should probably go up for dinner, assuming it’s around that time.  (It is, your crappy plastic clock informs you.) So you take a few steps towards the door and stop with your hand on the handle. Time to face the music **.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *edit*
> 
> Hey, guys! It's BadWolf! Just letting you know I haven't forgotten about that short story. It's coming along! (Slowly, but it is.) 
> 
> I'll try to get it posted for Four Thirteen, but who knows if it'll be finished. So here's hoping!


	13. Camping, Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the Egberts and Dvae and Karkat leave, Karkat gets carsick, Skittles are bought, and actual Davekat happens for a second.   
> (Also, Dave flirting with the girl at the cash register.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo! Sorry again for the wonky upd8 schedule. It'll get more consistent, don't worry.  
> In the meantime, enjoy a slightly longer chapter that was mostly written tonight!

“Okay, everybody have everything?” Dadbert says.

You look over the piles of stuff in the back of the van. “I think so,” you say.

“Let me guess,” Karkat says, taking one earbud out and climbing into the van. “Three extra pairs of sunglasses, a few different types of laptops, some high-tech thing that you shouldn’t even bring, we’re going camping, for god’s sakes.”

He probably would’ve kept going if John hadn’t pounced onto his back and yelled, “KARKAT!”

Karkat yelps and drops his phone. “John! What the hell do you want!”

“We’re going camping I’m so excited!”

“Wow, really! We’re going camping? Someone should’ve told me!” Dadbert glares at Karkat a little as Bec jumps into the van.

“Dibs on sitting next to Karkles,” you say.

“What? Maybe I wanted to sit next to him!” John says. “Why do you automatically get to arrange seating?”

“John, he called dibs,” Dadbert says. John rolls his eyes. Karkat looks kind of surprised, like he’s never had this happen. (He looks sort of pleased too: even though you barely know him this makes a happy bubbly feeling rise up inside you.)

"Anyway," you say, getting in, "I need the laptops. How else am I supposed to work on my masterpiece?"

"... What's your masterpiece," Karkat asks suspiciously. He narrows his eyes a little.

"Nooooothing." You plop down beside him and snuggle your backpack between your feet.

Karkat is staring at you. You pointedly ignore him in favor of leaning down to rummage in your backpack for your headphones.

“Do we need anything else," Dadbert asks. "Dave? Did you get the snacks?"

"Aw, shit," you say loudly, "I totally- oops. Sorry, Mr Egbert. I meant crap. Anyway, I forgot. We need to go to the store and get more, I meant to tell you but there's like no snack food."

"Alright," he says dryly. "Store run is a thing that needs to happen. We can do that on the way out. Anything else?"

"Oh crud," Jade says suddenly. "I forgot Bec's doggy bowl!"

"Got it," John calls from the open trunk. (He's rearranging the bags to fit Bec's kennel.)

"Then we're good!" Jade says excitedly.

"Dave," Dadbert says, his hand on the handle of the car door. "How many computers are you bringing?"

"Uh, my laptop and the iPad. And Jade is bringing both of hers. And John and I have our phones. Karkat, what about you?"

"My phone," he mumbles. "Don't have anything else."

"Alright." Mr. Egbert smiles kindly at Karkat. "That works out nicely. Let's get going, then." He shuts your door.

You glance at Karkat. He looks nervous. “You okay?” you say, nudging him.

He jumps a little and looks over. “What? Oh. Yeah, I’m fine.” You give him ‘the look’. “Dave. Stop.”

You roll your eyes and take a sketchbook out of your bag. You start to doodle, laying your head on the back window, and eventually fall asleep.

* * *

You’re awoken a little while later by someone saying loudly, “Oh crap! Uh, okay, hold on, Dad, we need to stop!” **  
**

You slowly open your eyes and see Karkat looking very pale. He pats around for the seatbelt.

“What...?” you say.

“Karkat said he’s going to throw up, Dad, hurry!” Jade says, turning around in her seat. “Okay, Karkat, just... hold it for a little longer, okay?”

He nods a little and you sit up. “Are you okay? Can you talk?” you ask. He shakes his head. “Okay, uh... Dadbert, hurry up I don’t want to be puked on!”

“I’m going!” Dadbert insists. “Uh oh. Next gas station is a mile away. We’re almost there, buddy, hold on.”

Karkat nods and rubs his stomach a little. Jade keeps comforting him from the middle row and John is talking to his dad up front. You, meanwhile, prepare to jump out of the way at a second’s notice. Every few seconds, John says something like, “Half a mile, Karks... A quarter of a mile, we’re almost there... Okay, we’re exiting now.”

“Karkat, unbuckle please, hurry, go go go!” Dadbert says as he pulls into a parking space. You and Karkat both unbuckle, and Jade opens the sliding door of the van.

You barely make it out when Karkat throws up all over the curb. A couple of people give him weird looks, so you say, “Karkat, cmon, let’s go to the bathroom.”

He nods weakly and lets you lead him inside. You hear Jade tell the others where you’re going.

Karkat makes it almost all the way to the bathroom before he barfs again. The people at the counter give you nasty looks, and you say “Sorry, he’s just carsick” before ushering Karkat into the handicapped stall of the bathroom.

You guide Karkat so he’s kneeling by the toilet, and wait outside the stall for him to be finished. Luckily, there’s no more barfing sounds, so you peek your head in a few minutes later.

“Karkit?” you say softly. “Are you okay?”

He looks over at you from right where you left him. He nods. “Yeah. I think it was carsick... I wasn’t feeling too good earlier though...”

“Alright. Okay.” You come in and shut the door behind you. “Hey. Can I hug you? Will that make you feel better?”

Okay, what the heck. Just came out of your mouth.

Karkat shrugs, so you sit next to him and pull him close. He leans into you a little, and this might be the most relaxed part of your week.

You and Karkat, hugging, in the middle of a convenience store bathroom.

You’re interrupted by Dadbert knocking and saying, “Karkat,are you alright? I bought some mints and motion sickness stuff if you need it.”

“Hey Mr Dad,” you say, notifying him you’re in here too.

“Yes, hello Dave.” Karkat sits up. “Are you feeling any better?”

Karkat shrugs, and you say, “He shrugged.” You hear Dadbert sigh.

“Please open the door, Dave,” he says.

You do. “Where’s John and Jade?”

Dadbert kneels next to Karkat and offers him a mint. He takes it with a small smile.

“They’re looking around for some snacks. You two can pick something if you would like to, okay?” Dadbert stands up.

You and Karkat nod. “We’ll be out in a minute,” Karkat says. “Thank you, Mr Egbert.” Dadbert nods and goes out.

You and Karkat stare at each other for a minute. “You’re feeling better?” you say.

“Yeah. I am.” Karkat stands up. “We should go out there. They probably think we’re doing something highly inappropriate.”

“I’m not putting my face anywhere near yours until twenty-four hours barf-free,” you say, picking at your nails. Karkat snickers. “I’m not lying.”

“I didn’t say you were.”

John runs in. “Dave they have soda! You should get some!”

You sigh and take Karkat’s arm. “Come on, Kitkat, Egdork won’t leave us alone, so we should go see what he wants.”

“I’m right here you know. Oh, Karkat!” John sounds like he just remembered something.

“What,” he grumbles, putting the mint in his mouth.

“They cleaned up your puke and now the floor’s wet.”

“How much sugar have you had?”

“I don’t know, a lot I think! And we’re-!”

“Going camping,” you and Karkat says in a monotone.

“Wow. Yeah. You don’t have to be rude.” He slumps out of the bathroom. You catch the door and look at Karkat.

“I’m going to wash my hands real quick,” he mutters. You nod and walk out.

“Dave, what do you like better, Coke or Pepsi?” Jade yells across the store.

“Yes.” You grab a few packages of Skittles and two water bottles and put them on the counter. “Just these,” you say to the girl at the register.

She smiles a little and says, “Is your friend feeling better?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“You know, it would be cheaper to get two of the bags instead of four packages. And you get more.”

“Hmm. Thank you, kind lady.” She laughs a little and scans your stuff.

“What’re you getting me?” Karkat says from behind you.

“Water.” You point to the bottles. "And pure sugar mixed with food coloring."

“Goodie. Just what I always wanted.” He scans the candy rack and pops back up with a double sized KitKat bar. “It’s ironic,” he says to your questioning look.

“Good answer,” you say. The girl laughs again and scans it.

“That’ll be eight fifty-seven,” she says. You hand her a ten and say, “Keep the change.”

Karkat rolls his eyes.

"How gentlemanly," she teases. "How is your friend the amazing vomit comet feeling?"

You snort in surprise. "Vomit comet?"

Karkat turns bright red.

"Oh, he's great." You tease. "He's training for the championships, you know."

Karkat splutters. The checkout girl laughs.

"It's so nice to see openly out people," she muses. "Even better when they can joke around."

"Openly what?" Karkat asks.

"Oh, you know... Homosexuals? It's not often I see a flamboyantly gay brother or sister among the ranks."

You check her name tag. Cindy. "Well, Cindy, I hate to disappoint but we're not dating."

Karkat looks like he's about to die. 'Cindy' laughs awkwardly. "Oh. I'm sorry."

"However," you continue, "you're right about the gay. I can't vouch for Kitkat, but I am definitely a homosexual. Well met, good sister."

“Absolutely. Do you live around here?” She hands you your receipt and rests her head on her hand.

“Nah. Maybe... Karkat, how long were we in the car for?”

“I- I dunno. An hour maybe?”

“We live maybe an hour away. But Vomit Comet here had to practice.” Karkat punches your arm. "Ow."

“You deserved it,” he mutters.

You notice Dadbert rushing everyone outside, each of them holding a tan bag. “We better go,” you say. “Dad wants to get going. We’re going camping for the weekend.”

“Cool! Have fun!” Cindy waves as you walk out.

Back in the car, you're surprised to find that you're actually falling asleep. So you close your eyes and doze off.


	14. Splash Fights and Ass Tight (Shorts)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys. Sorry we've been taking so long. Usual reasons: life has kicked us in the guts and I (BadWolf) don't know which way is up. But have a hastily dashed off chapter posted at one in the morning. 
> 
> Warning for aquaphobia, drowning / mentions of.

You wake up to someone climbing over you. You blink, yawn, and open your eyes.

Karkat is halfway past you. When you look up at him questioningly he looks guilty and says softly, “Sorry. Um, we’re there.”

For a second it doesn’t occur to you what he said. Then you raise an eyebrow. “And you can’t use the other door why?”

“John freaking broke it trying to yank on the handle when it was locked.”

“Score one for Egbert.” Karkat pretends he’s not smiling. (You can tell though.)

“It’s not a good thing,” Dadbert says sternly, suddenly appearing through the side door. You yelp. Karkat giggles like a little kid.

“Sorry,” you mutter.

Dadbert gives you the aforementioned ‘look’ and you look at him over your shades. “Dave, Karkat, come on out. You need to set up your tent.”

Karkat looks nervous and excited at the same time. “Okay,” he says.

 

“Have you ever been camping?” you ask. 

“Pass me stake... A-4, please,” he says, looking at the directions and completely ignoring your question. 

“Karkles.”

“That’s not my name. Now hand me the piece I asked for.”

“No. Answer my question.” You move the stake further away. 

“Goddammit, Strider,” he growls, looking up at you.

“Yeah?”

“Give it to me. Or I’ll go sleep in Jade’s tent and make you sleep with Bec.”

You know from previous years Bec jumps up and barks at the smallest noise. Then runs around the tent. 

“No. You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

You glare at each other for a minute, then Mr Dad says, “Why don’t you kids go get changed and see if there are any waterfalls nearby you can wade in.”

“Yeah!” you and John and Jade say loudly. Karkat looks up at Dadbert. 

“Go on, it’ll be fun!” Dadbert says, smiling. “I’ll put up the tents and stuff, okay?”

Karkat shrugs. “Yeah, that could be fun. Where’s my swimsuit?”

“It’s with mine,” you say, standing up. “Here, come with me.”

He looks at you suspiciously. Jade and John are already looking for their suits. “Where should we change?” he asks.

“We usually either stand in a circle thing in the woods or take turns changing in the car.” He makes a face. “What? Do you want to just stay here then?”

“No,” he grumbles.

“Okay. That’s what we’re doing.”

Karkat glares at you a little. “Fine. Let’s go get stuff.”

"That's m'boy!" Dadbert booms. Karkat snorts despite himself. 

You head back to the van and open the trunk. Karkat follows you like a lost sheep. You pull out his bag and your own, tossing Karkat his own. "You can change first." Motioning to the van. 

Karkat hesitates, then climbs in. You slam the trunk. 

While you're waiting, your mind wanders. For some reason it finds a memory of your second home- with the Lalondes. Rose and Romy. (One of your best friends, Roxy, is Romy's niece.) 

You used to live with them. You hated it. They were stuck up, really. (Roxy is a lot more down to earth.) So you ran away.

But back when you lived with Rose and Romy, there was one time specifically when you went swimming. It was Rose's first time and the only reason you went was because you were the guest and you kept begging Romy to take you. 

"I didn't know you were- are gay," Karkat says from behind you. 

You turn around. He's wearing a large blue t-shirt with faded letters (‘Pine City National Forest Protection Brigade’) and swim trunks that look a wee bit tight around the crotch (not that you’re looking! sheesh.) 

"Not many people do." You give him a fakey smile. "Certainly not the girls who try to flirt with me. Like the chick outside the bathroom. Not Cindy, the other one." 

"What?"

"At the gas station. You didn't notice her?"

"No," he says slowly. 

“Oh. Well, she was flirting.”

“I got that much.”

Karkat glares at you, and you push past him. "Calm down, dude. Let me get changed, then we can go swim in freezing water and eat overcooked hot dogs. Yeah?" 

Karkat mumbles something begrudgingly and sits down to wait. 

You change quickly. Karkat is drawing in the dirt when you return, he glances up at you and stands up, starting off towards the river. 

John and Jade are already down there, screeching and splashing eachother. They look up when you get there. 

"Hi!" Jade calls. She splashes water at you and giggles.

You stick your tongue out and hurry towards the creek. It's deeper than you remember, and slower. It's a brownish green color. Ew.

Still, it's water, and you cannonball in, splashing Jade and John both. They screech and duck under the water to avoid you. 

In your hand are your goggles. You slip them on as you duck out of the water, then start splashing John and Jade. 

You look behind you. Karkat is dipping a toe into the water. He looks a little apprehensive. You would put good money on the idea that he may never have been this kind of swimming. 

You refocus on John and Jade. They're double teaming you. Jade is splashing you, John is kicking water at you. 

"Help us, Karkat!" John calls. You open your mouth to protest and Karkat tackles you from behind. 

Everything goes slow and liquid. You're underwater, and you can't breathe. You're choking. 

There's muffled noise. You try to twist away. Your head finally hits the bottom and you choke on silt. You squirm, but there are two people on you now. You kick out. Nothing happens. 

You fumble blindly for someone's arm. You find someone's wrist and yank. They laugh- it sounds like John, though you can barely hear through the water- and put a hand on your head. 

Time slows. You're drowning in mud and gravel. Your eyes slip closed. 

This is how it ends? What a weak way to die. Your lungs, filled with water? Your lips, gone blue? Your body shriveled? How weak. Your bro would be ashamed. 

And. Then you're rising through the water. Multiple pairs of hands are dragging you up. 

You don't breathe. There is water in your lungs. Dimly you hear yelling. 

Someone puts a hand on your chest. Another person is... kissing you? That doesn't seem right. Oh, not kissing. CPR. And you're coughing now. 

"-Ave," someone says fuzzily. "Dave, wake up Dave please are you okay."

You open your eyes blearily. You're alive. (Your chest, so recently filled with water, fills with some comforting mixture of happiness and the exhilarating sensation of being okay.) 

Karkat is hanging over you. He looks so worried. He reaches out to touch your face. "I'm so sorry," he whispers. (Or no. It's normal volume, you just can't hear right. There's still water in your ears.) 

" 'S okay," you say groggily. And then you do pass out.


	15. Discontinued + New AU

So, bad news. This fic is going to be discontinued. Reasons, you may beg. What are your reasons I mean seriously. The answer? Because 8addie and I came up with a better AU, one with less plot holes and less chance of mistakes. We're planning to post some of that- I'm pretty sure that 8addie already has. You can find these titles (that are that AU) below.

So. I'm sorry that this has been discontinued. But the good news? We'll start working on something that's likely to get finished! This new AU that we're working on is going to be even better and more clearly defined. So just sit tight and wait.

 

New AU Works by 8ad_Wolf:

Bad Day  
In The Night

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Hit Em Right Between The Eyes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3220418) by [terminallyCapricious (murderousCohort)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/murderousCohort/pseuds/terminallyCapricious)




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